I think someone fucking cursed me

Whenever there's an exam near I always end up sick one way or another. I broke my pinky once on the day of exam, i got chased by a Rottweiler, retriever and fell from fence, got a really bad cramp during period that turned out be appendicitis and the list goes on.... my sista says "I just thought you put yourself in that position cause your sorry ass didn't study but atp just go to church and get an exorcism"