lost interest in yaoi smut

i’ve been reading bl/yaoi since i was in high school and it’s been more than a decade (whew). i was also single the rest of my life (which is 27 years). i got a boyfriend last year and we recently started “doing it” which was also my first time. it was scary at first, but as we did it more often and explored different ways for both of us to have a healthy and pleasurable experience, i became more aware of my needs and my body. suddenly, i don’t see s3x the same way i see on stuff i read here. it pains me when there isn’t enough foreplay or preparation like honey that hole does not self-lubricate please i just know ts hurts like hell. then those guys with a whole ass arm hanging down their legs scare me now. the shit i used to read gave me pleasure and i enjoyed reading smut like it was the last thing on earth that gives me life. but not anymore… i just don’t feel it anymore. i’ve been trying to get into it but the spicy scenes look so rough to me i stopped reading.

i might still read yaoi from time to time if the plot is good but anything with smut clearly written by a straight woman is not it for me.