Life is weird

TW suicidal actions
You know life is real weird, it often sucks but there are also good and normal moments. In my depressed teenage era, everything sucked, nothing was working the way i thought it would, it was scary and confusing, I was in my head too much. Somehow the thought of dying appeared. I was like sure why not I hate all of it anyway, like I bet my fam would miss me and stuff, but I was too depressed for that to stop me. I tell you guys, I was NEvEr in my life shitting pants like that. After I swallowed those pills, I was like wait A damn minute, it’s act happening, like I’m gonna be GoNe, I will just disappear. Oh my lord my heart never beat that fast, I felt like I was drowning. Anyway I’m alive and pretty much well. I completely understand why death can be attracting at times, but like we gonna die anyway, why not just let the life off us, and in the meantime enjoy this shit shat shot. For me when I stood at the edge of the life and death, I realised that I don’t want to die yet. I want to live. Life is fun, all the stuff we experience are fascinating, I wouldn’t feel the breeze of cold air in the winter or the burning heat of summer if I was not here. Idk made me appreciate small things, just life. I would prefer to not go through all that shit beforehand, but at least I’m still here (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ‹