Im scared to grow up(rant)

I just thought about it, but when I become an adult that no longer means I can crush on fictional minor characters my age I don’t wanna leave them behind ik this sounds so weird and the only characters I have ever like are 17+ so nothing wild but being an adult means I have to stop being freaky about them Im not ready rn praying I get over him by then. Ik for a fact I’ll stop liking any minor characters(in a more attraction way) but I just don’t wanna leave behind the ones I like now it’s so sad :((( I wish I could stay a kid forever cause I can like anybody I want and not have to deal with any adult things life sucks I don’t wanna be an adult. Hope yall don’t think I sound like a fuck ass pedophile I just wanted to rant. It’s also scary to think about having a fictional crush on a minor forever and it just stick with you throughout your entire life like what do you do in that situation. Just die ig. Imma kms if I can’t get over them by then I have less than a year left pray for me pls. I mean, ig the character I love more than anything is 18 but still thats creepy to love a character so much who’s 18 and ur 20+ like maybe age them up but that can also be weird sighhhhh. Hopefully they get the chance to grow older in cannon(and not fucking die) so I can continue to like them he’s literally me. Luckily I rarely like fictional characters in a more than obsession(now romantic obsession) way but it still happens urgggg. Im so fucking scared.