Kuma-chan ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ's question page 3 (87)

Your most recent pic is your reaction

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chewing gum.
(You have a dirty mind ʕノ)ᴥ(ヾʔ

A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having urgent need to use the bathroom.
He headed over to the men's room nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft.
Each time he tried to door, it was occupied.
A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, "I'll let you use the ladies room with on one condition - don't touch the buttons on the wall!"
The man breathed a sigh of relief while sitting on the toilet, and his attention drifted to the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked "WW, WA,PP, and ATR".
Making the same mistakes that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully press the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom.
He thought, "Wow this is strangely pleasant, women really have it made!"
Still curious he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze on of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
"This is amazing", he thought. "Men's rooms have nothing like this.
He then pressed the button marked "PP", which yielded a large powder puff that delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR", and then everything went black.
When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.
When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember I was in the ladies' room on a plane!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, I'm sure you were having a great time until you press the "ATR" button which stands for 'Automatic Tampon Remover'."

It's just so unoriginal.

I used to play that game with my uncle, we just called it "Hide and Seek".

I started to suck using one hand to fuck my ass and the other to help push my own dick into my mouth. I got so far. I went all they way down until my nose brushed my slightly-hairy, bumpy sack. I licked and sucked my balls. Then I ran my tongue up my dick and the ridges of my veins.

When I got to the head I sucked and kissed it, then ran my tongue around the sensitive skin in a circular motion, almost cumming there I paused for a moment and grabbed a candle and fucked my ass as far as the candle would go (I couldn't believe how far I could get something up there!) I
couldn't wait any longer. My cock throbbed to fuck my face and I gave it the satisfaction. In one motion I jammed it into my throat and sucked hard as it came back.

In and out it went, and you could hear my muffled
grunts every time my nuts hit my face and the dildo hit my anal wall. I came, hard, all over my face and into my mouth, my dick was dripping from the explosion. It felt so good~

Should I post a wanted poster?

I hit up my fuckboy and ended up agreeing to stay the night with him since we had the place to ourselves. We fooled around for a bit, but we end up passing out. Fast-forward to the morning: I wake up alone, thinking he went to work. I start jerking off and enjoying myself, not insanely loud. Just as I'm about to come, I hear him walk by the door and in my incredibly unsexy, groggy, surprised voice, I mutter, 'Oh fuck.' After I do so, the door barges open and a tall Asian guy with glasses (clearly not my fuckbuddy) comes in swinging a golf club at me as I'm sprawled on this bed with cum shooting from my dick. I'm screaming, 'OH MY GOD.' Turns out the Asian guy was his roommate who knew my fuckbuddy had gone to work, but didn't know I had stayed the night, and because our campus area had a series of break-ins, he prepared himself thinking I was a burglar.

A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her. A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her. A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” The barman looks her up and down and says, “First off, it’s bartender, not barfender. Second off, it’s martini, not marhini. And third, you don’t have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray.”

I walked in on a friend masturbating to furries porn. It was very uncomfortable for me, and probably for him too. Glimpsing at a couple of big bird-looking things going at it was just too much for me that I hardly even noticed my friend.

Name top 5 things you would bring with you.


1. A knife.
2. First aid kit.
3. Water.
4. Food.
5. Binoculars.

Got called out over the loud speaker for it, too ╮(￣▽￣)╭

A rumor went around that all the teachers had an orgy on the soccer field.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, I'll make it very fast. I'll throw 1000$ on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for 2000$, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undress himself."
So she agrees.
Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend and asks, "What happened?"
She responds, "The bastard used coins. I'm still picking and he's still fucking."

The teacher leaves the room and Zip gets on top of her desk, Dick goes inside a cabinet, and Pea runs out the window and waves.

The teacher comes back and says: “Hey! Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the corner!”

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A guy will actually look for a golf ball.

An H2HOE.

Gay: Fuck him

Lesbian: Fuck her

Bisexual: Fuck you, and also you

Polysexual: Fuck them

Pansexual: Fuck everyone

Omnisexual: Fuck the lot of you

Demisexual: Fuck you in particular

Queer: Fuck this

Straight: Fuck that

Asexual: Fuck no

Spongebob = sponge = super absorbent = lives in Bikini Bottom.





Spongebob is a tampon ʕ • o • ʔ