about question
sometimes I feel like I can’t even trust myself. the world feels distorted, like i’m stuck in a dream I can’t wake up from. even my own body doesn’t feel real. it’s like I’m disconnected from everything, including myself. and no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the feeling that something is deeply wrong.
but on the outside, I seem fine. i go through the motions, smile when I’m supposed to, do everything I’m supposed to do. no one could ever tell. if anything, I seem normal. maybe even happy. and that makes it worse. if i’m so “normal,” then is this fear even real? is there something wrong with me, or am I just making it all up?
it feels like I’m just an actor playing a role, like I’m not really myself. the disconnect is unbearable. nothing feels real, i don’t feel real. if I’m only pretending to exist, does anything even matter at this point?
but on the outside, I seem fine. i go through the motions, smile when I’m supposed to, do everything I’m supposed to do. no one could ever tell. if anything, I seem normal. maybe even happy. and that makes it worse. if i’m so “normal,” then is this fear even real? is there something wrong with me, or am I just making it all up?
it feels like I’m just an actor playing a role, like I’m not really myself. the disconnect is unbearable. nothing feels real, i don’t feel real. if I’m only pretending to exist, does anything even matter at this point?
about question
Anyone have any game recs? Mainly RPGs, Visual Novels, or Mystery's!
Some Games I've Played:
- ZENO Remake (SOOO PEAK)
- Zeno Daily life (PEAK SEQUAL)
- Saihate Station (No words amazing)
- Your Turn to Die (Peak Fiction truly ch2 wasn't my fav tho lol)
- Let Sleeping Dogs lie Demo (Super good detective game waiting for the full release!)
- A Date with Death (I thought Casper was sooo cute + art is gorgeous)
- Dead Plate (Mhm Mhm IFKYK)
- Elevator Hitch (I love Puzzles, but FUCKKKK lmao so hard at times)
- Killer Chat (It's ok...)
- No, Thank You (Just like the title NO THANK YOU so fuckin asssss)
- Project Blue (up my ally ig just couldn't do this one for some reason lol)
- Hashihime of The Old Book Town (Trouble following the story lmao maybe I'll try this again)
[I'm more of a let's play watcher so I haven't played many games personally lmao, but I'll mention all the Danganronpa games just because lol V3 SUPERMACY]
Some Games I've Played:
- ZENO Remake (SOOO PEAK)
- Zeno Daily life (PEAK SEQUAL)
- Saihate Station (No words amazing)
- Your Turn to Die (Peak Fiction truly ch2 wasn't my fav tho lol)
- Let Sleeping Dogs lie Demo (Super good detective game waiting for the full release!)
- A Date with Death (I thought Casper was sooo cute + art is gorgeous)
- Dead Plate (Mhm Mhm IFKYK)
- Elevator Hitch (I love Puzzles, but FUCKKKK lmao so hard at times)
- Killer Chat (It's ok...)
- No, Thank You (Just like the title NO THANK YOU so fuckin asssss)
- Project Blue (up my ally ig just couldn't do this one for some reason lol)
- Hashihime of The Old Book Town (Trouble following the story lmao maybe I'll try this again)
[I'm more of a let's play watcher so I haven't played many games personally lmao, but I'll mention all the Danganronpa games just because lol V3 SUPERMACY]
about read yaoi in public
So I'm on summer break from uni now and I'm deciding if I wanna go back. Not that I'm dropping out!!! lol just deciding if I wanna transfer.
I was one of those I REALLY need to get away from home kids, so I went to a smaller school out of state. And it was terrible. I mean the classes where ok and I made some amazing friends. But I HATE dorming with others. I feel like there would be no problem if I had a single, but I can'tttt live w ppl I need my own space.
Even though I dormed with friends my 2nd year I still wanted to kms ughhhh. That's not the only problem either the school is really small so there's literally no place to study the library is ALWAYS filled and there's no spaces to be alone at allll not even in my own dorm. And I'm the type that will IMPLODE if I don't have time to myself. I genuinely don't know how I lasted so long.
I submitted a app to a larger in state school and got accepted and I think it's really nice. The campus is gorgeous and huge. I just don't know how I'd break the news to my friends/roomies since we applied to be in the same room next year and I never told them I was considering transferring... But I genuinely might off myself if I have to go back.
At the same time though I might off myself having to live with family since I'll be living at home if i transfer lmao.
The decision is to choose the lesser evil at this point lmao. Any thoughts for a struggling student?
I was one of those I REALLY need to get away from home kids, so I went to a smaller school out of state. And it was terrible. I mean the classes where ok and I made some amazing friends. But I HATE dorming with others. I feel like there would be no problem if I had a single, but I can'tttt live w ppl I need my own space.
Even though I dormed with friends my 2nd year I still wanted to kms ughhhh. That's not the only problem either the school is really small so there's literally no place to study the library is ALWAYS filled and there's no spaces to be alone at allll not even in my own dorm. And I'm the type that will IMPLODE if I don't have time to myself. I genuinely don't know how I lasted so long.
I submitted a app to a larger in state school and got accepted and I think it's really nice. The campus is gorgeous and huge. I just don't know how I'd break the news to my friends/roomies since we applied to be in the same room next year and I never told them I was considering transferring... But I genuinely might off myself if I have to go back.
At the same time though I might off myself having to live with family since I'll be living at home if i transfer lmao.
The decision is to choose the lesser evil at this point lmao. Any thoughts for a struggling student?
about question
hey guys!! i've been wanting to get into makeup for a while, but am not sure how to go about it. i'm not really looking for full glam just light coverage for an everyday look. i'm not a complete noob, so I know what everything is (mostly). just overall tips on what products/brands to purchase! and best ways to apply! if it's of any help i'm asian and a uni student. thank you :)
about question
the entire concept of saving face just pisses me off.
i understand it as a concept when it comes to acquaintances/colleagues and such, where if you don't see someone much or are in a professional relationship then you want to show them only you're best side as you aren't intending to get too close to them. however, i'm from east asia (japan) where saving face even applies to your own family. i've spent a lot of time in the states and studying english which is why i can recognize this, but is it not strange to need to save face to your own parents and siblings? doesn't necessarily apply for me personally, but for example my family is always hiding who they are from their own siblings and parents and only showing their best side. i understand parents to an extent because of the generation gap, but your siblings? there's like this underlying jealousy and competition where you have to be the best, brag about your children and your life in order to save face and garner the most jealousy towards yourself. even towards their own friends. my mother is always telling me how to act when we visit and she never shares anything bad just always talking about others and putting herself in the best light while her friends do the same. idk if i explained it the best, but is this concept of saving face normal everywhere? i thought if you're considered close to your family and friends you would share everything not only trying to showcase the best
i understand it as a concept when it comes to acquaintances/colleagues and such, where if you don't see someone much or are in a professional relationship then you want to show them only you're best side as you aren't intending to get too close to them. however, i'm from east asia (japan) where saving face even applies to your own family. i've spent a lot of time in the states and studying english which is why i can recognize this, but is it not strange to need to save face to your own parents and siblings? doesn't necessarily apply for me personally, but for example my family is always hiding who they are from their own siblings and parents and only showing their best side. i understand parents to an extent because of the generation gap, but your siblings? there's like this underlying jealousy and competition where you have to be the best, brag about your children and your life in order to save face and garner the most jealousy towards yourself. even towards their own friends. my mother is always telling me how to act when we visit and she never shares anything bad just always talking about others and putting herself in the best light while her friends do the same. idk if i explained it the best, but is this concept of saving face normal everywhere? i thought if you're considered close to your family and friends you would share everything not only trying to showcase the best
about question
i'm unable to form any meaningful connections. i had a group of friends in hs, but i was so anxious all the time that I would literally avoid them when it got too bad and I would never hang out with them outside of school. we'd rarely even text. keep in mind i've been friends with them since 5th grade. they'd always joke about how hard it was to reach me and that after hs they'd probably never see me again (not cause they hate me but because i'm so unreachable). whenever we would see each other at school/in class we were close friends and on grad day we took many pictures as a group and it was fun. after grad though since we never really texted (they text just not with me) we grew apart. they reach out to me individually to talk sometimes (i've never been able to reach out in my life). so that's the extent of my hs friendship. i feel like i'll see them some time and it'll be like the old days still.. i just finished my 1st year of uni and contrary to my belief did make another friend group. again i would always avoid them when my anxiety got too bad, but they'd drag me to their dorms and we'd hang out pretty often. but once again i refuse to go off campus with them. now during the summer we used to send tiktoks or even text. but stopped after a while. my friends even tried face timing me (i came up with an excuse then never face timed after). eventually, i needed to get a new number and I still haven't told them it. and now it's just a standstill. they don't have my number, but they could still reach out to me through other things. not that it's on them to reach out to me. i'm rooming with my friends next year so we'll still be friends though. just feel like i'll be even more anxious now that i have no where to run.
i think i have an issue. people always come to me and somehow i push them away always. my mind can't seem to tell the difference between a friend and a stranger. i'm anxious around them all the same.
what is wrong with me?
(feel free to ask clarifying questions)
i think i have an issue. people always come to me and somehow i push them away always. my mind can't seem to tell the difference between a friend and a stranger. i'm anxious around them all the same.
what is wrong with me?
(feel free to ask clarifying questions)