About her getting defensive over Ruth almost handing over her work to the butler: She was j u s t trusted with something, and wants to prove herself - not to satisfy an ego, but because for her, the fear of being kicked out and disappointing another person who trusted her again is very, very real. From her pov, in her world, there is no one who loves her - most probably hate her. She wants to become someone worthy of trust, and therefore desperately rejects the idea of giving up on the work, even tho she has all the reason to kick back and chill in wealth. Later panels showed that she was still studying the financial concepts - so she hasn't given up yet! Lets be patient~
i came to say wtf too long what u wrote lol. ok bye ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
true lmao not me writing a whole essay
That was the best story feedback ever. I just realized why I'm even drawn to this story except for the art. It's way more precise and realistic AND the fact that she tries hard to change despite being shot down by PTSD flashbacks should be considered one hell of a quality.
Thanks for validating the half hour of my life I'm never getting back(づ￣ ³￣)づ
Yes yes exactly!! It's truly such an admirable facet of her personality, I wish more and more people, like you, saw it as her strength rather than a shortcoming!
YES, THANK YOU.
This is why I'm so fiercely protective of Maxi because I understand her struggles. She has gone through so much, and as someone who has been in an abusive relationship with depression and anxiety, I see Maxi as a realistic portrayal of someone with mental health problems. (Media has always had a terrible influence on how mental health is portrayed, which leads to the ignorance of mental health. It is a subject that needs more awareness because it is debilitating and harmful.)
We need to break the stereotypical trope that a strong character is that of an outgoing, outspoken character. There is no hint of how their "tragic" past affects their mentality. It's always the same strong-willed characters. With Maxi, she is our strong girl. She is so mentally strong to have gone through abuse and neglect and anxiety and still stand at where she's at. SHE'S TRYING, and that's the best you can ever hope and ask for someone with mental health. (THE FIRST STEP to bettering your mental health is to accept that you want to change and that you want help. MAXI IS ALREADY THERE, AND SHE'S TRYING.)
it's a good practice for essay writing tho. And that was one precise analysis of a character I wish I could ask how you do it but ik it comes naturally with talent
I wish I could write as good as you. And also thank you for this
I'm thrilled with this webtoon's portrayal of Anxiety.
Most often, our lead characters are confident individuals who're always sure of what they're doing. They have this inherent faith in their own opinions, decisions, and actions. Even when things fail, it never really affects their self-esteem, their self-image. To them, it is just another challenge to overcome, a failure to accept and adapt to.
And this is what makes them so charismatic, and endearing! Even in real life, confident people are some of the most attractive lot out there.
But here's thing thing: Conversely, no one really wants to see the more obvious "weak" characters.
Why is it that "weakness" is appealing only when exhibited by those having a very "strong" outward demeanor in general? We like it when our favorite, powerful characters show the rare vulnerability, because it gives them depth, and gives us a glimpse into their inner monsters and trauma that shape their personality to a considerable extent.
But most stories show a very convenient resolution to these weaknesses - the characters face X situation, rise to the occasion, and Viola! Just like that, they're stronger and better than ever. Sometimes, the long-lasting effects of a past trauma aren't even mentioned in the story, disappointingly.
Maybe it is the respective author's decision to not delve too deep and keep the story event-oriented and influenced by external factors. In that sense, even though I do not wish to undermine any character's struggles, their "weaknesses" seldom feel serious, or real, to me. It doesn't feel like they are struggling, like it affects them as much as the author would want us to believe. Bluntly put, in most works, I cannot take the lead character's fears seriously; simply for lack of emphasis on it, and because the characters are almost NEVER shown to introspect internally about their own flaws.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with appreciating such a storyline; I'm quite biased towards such dynamics too.
But the fact that this stereotypical sequence of events is found in almost all works everywhere, is what makes this webtoon stand out so beautifully - because it is so, so wonderfully different.
Our female lead is a painfully accurate example of what anxiety is really like. As someone whose daily life is hindered by it to a shameful extent, I find myself nodding in empathy to our female lead's thoughts.
She has been abused in her childhood, with scars to show for it - on her skin and past them too. This webtoon doesn't brush off her childhood experiences as a convenient plot point to justify an obnoxious personality trait; instead, at every point in the webtoon, we are constantly reminded of what she has gone through, of how her thought process keeps cementing itself over in a self-destructive whirlpool.
Her self-esteem is rock bottom and six feet under. Marginal faith in her abilities, in her independent thoughts, in every breath she takes. From childhood, it had been drilled into her fragile mind - that she is not enough, that she is unwanted, that she deserves nothing except the bad, that she is worthless, that she is a waste on earth - you get the point.
And as this treatment continued, somewhere along the way, these words meshed into her own opinion of herself - and this is a very realistic impact of abuse. Because she was subjected to these words every waking moment, because it came from the people who are supposed to lover her, who are supposed to matter the most to her.
Words have power. These barbs dipped in poison made her feel that this is all that her existence amounts too.
No wonder, it is difficult for her to comprehend acts of kindness towards her. To quote - "We only accept the kindness we think we deserve."
She is afraid, of being abandoned - because in her eyes, she offers nothing worth staying for. At the same time, she appreciates the ML, and wants to stay by his side, and is desperate to prove herself of such a privilege. Unbeknownst to her, as far as the ML's feelings for her are concerned, she has nothing to prove, because she is already more than enough for him. It'll be a while before she sees this, though.
Anyway, in every chapter, in every scene with her, we see how little confidence she has in anything she does. This fear of rejection makes her hesitate.
Naturally, as readers, we want the best for her, we want her to actively chase that happiness, to not be blind to the ML's efforts to woo(?) her.
But realistically, anxiety is so, so difficult to battle. It bleeds into every aspect of your life, it takes years to formulate methods to reduce some of the triggers, some of the discomfort. Anxious people are often CONSCIOUS of how stupid the reasons for their anxiety could be. They KNOW it, but it doesn't make the fear any less. If anything, we become more irritated with our inability to function like the "normal" others.
Look at the irony - despite being someone who can relate to the FL so well, I feel myself getting upset at her often for running in circles of demotivation and despair.
At the same time, I can spot the little changes, efforts she is making to become stronger. For those of us who have not faced anxiety, it'll naturally be easy to miss the little steps she is taking in the direction of character development. Over time, once her efforts yield results, the growth will become more prominent.
This webtoon, portrays in all its raw glory, what a mental illness, and what abuse, do to a person. Wrapping this monologue here, all I can say, I'm rooting for the female lead, and I'm excited to see her gradual journey into a healthier mind space:)
And the mutually reciprocated romance and smut ofcლ(´ڡ`ლ)