So what can I say, true friends don't exist

I am sorry that happened to you. I hope that you have good friends now

I avoid circle of friends for the same reason. Now I only befriend one on one. All my friends don't know each other. It is much easier that way.

Same here. People in big groups end up always toxic. You either have to be correct and singled out or cowardly pointing out someone for hiding your mistakes.

Same happened in middle and high school too. Especially once by an entire class I was transferred to because all supported the person who was there longer (but they gossiped behind) without even knowing what happened. I refused to help her cheat from my sheet in exam. I started ignoring and got to class with headphones until class started for months until some people who weren't from majority. It's really hell. But in the long run, they never do anything great with their lives until they change themselves. I remember there was a mock test for uni exams in the city (capital city) they joked about right in front of me how low rates Id get. They all ranked like at lower 150s while I ranked about 20s. They stopped talking after I mentioned their ranks. Wanted help with exam.

In my experience I can say, spineless people never go far. And you don't have to look back later. You don't remember their face or name, but follow you on social media. It's just the bad feeling sticks.

Thank you, I met someone at the same time who did hear about the bad rumours about me but she was still willing to get to know me even though she also became a target from my old friend circle. We graduated already but since the moment she talked to me back then, she has still remained a very good friend of mine to this day^^

Yeah, it's so much better like that than being in a group. Having to learn that fact the very hard way that bigger circles are way too much to handle and it's pretty much impossible that everyone even genuinely likes each other...

Whoa, you worded it all right on point.

Firstly, congratulations on doing better than them, that's well deserved.
Also refusing to help them to cheat on the exams in the first place and after as well.
They would only take it for granted and forget that you ever even helped them in the end.

One person of my old friend circle and I started to get to know each other because I let her copy from my homeworks and eventually exams for a year+, once you start helping them cheat, they will rely on you so much that you are unable to tell them to stop and if you do, they make it so that you feel guilty by even mentioning that because you're ''friends'' or because you were the one who started helping them, that's something I was told to, at least... I was a loner back then, so I appreciated to have her as a friend though that's not what friends usually do, using the other for the own benefit but I didn't know better back then.

It's just sad that people in school remain the same, they don't know better but they love to gossip and add something else to make their truth of the situation more entertaining and tell it others again. There's also a pattern to these kind of people..
It's really easy to become an outcast but never would anyone think it would actually happen for real, and less that it hits them.

I'm glad that that hell is over for you, too.

All are so correct.
I noticed though, the better place you're working /studying the better the people are. Busy and productive people are good natured and understanding. The gossiping people are the opposite. They keep draining your positive energy while they trying to pull you down. Better uni, better job, better environment to live at, keeping yourself busy with quality hobbies, traveling are the best. There are still those people. But majority becomes you. My father says instead of listening gossips, bad news,pathologic complainers, do whatever you enjoy even if it's not productive. At least you're tending your boredom

Thanks btw :) been awhile. The story kinda pulled those out for a bit

I don't know what it is about groups, they always exert peer pressure. It is either you follow them or get singled out. Every single group of friends I have always ended in a disaster.

Oh, your words are really similar to what my sister said to me, she has been through bullying, too but she was mentally really strong, stronger than me and she managed to focus on her studies only. In her class she was more of the very serious and to her studies dedicated type of student and she refused to help people. She is currently working already and she also told me she noticed that her surrounding slowly started to consist of people who take things more seriously and are respectful to each other as well, starting off from college already. And the people who used to make fun of her or look down on her have it worse than her.

Back when it was really critical for me to go to school on some days, she would tell me similar things but I couldn't take them to heart back then because I was unable to believe in her words as it was just really hard for me to believe that it could get better at that moment. But now that I'm in college myself, though I haven't really gotten into contact with anyone but from the ones I have talked to per zoom, they seemed really nice and they didn't judge me from my appearance alone. In school, it was pretty much the norm that the more popular kids would only take interest on what's outside than inside. It is still scary for me to voice out my opinion because of my experiences in school but I also know that the people now around me aren't as immature as the ones from school anymore, too.

Your father's words are really nice and thanks to you, too :). It was a really nice exchange. Now that I talked about it, I noticed that it isn't so painful to me anymore, what happened in my school years did so something to my overall personality but right now, I'm doing so much better than before, I doubt I'll ever encounter anything worse than people from school. I hope we'll continue to be fine and unbothered by people who (try to) affect us negatively.

I'm happy that you found someone that didn't care about what others said about you, that kind of person is really rare to find imo.

I have to admit that I used to be in a similar circle in which they talked about the person that wasn't present atm. And what was scary was that I wasn't allowed to keep my mouth shut when they started talking about someone, they really tried to bring out an opinion out of you, and I gave in and mostly always agreed on whatever they said without a second thought. Ultimately, I ended up paying the price, I was given fault, too that I was the one starting the trash talking. Thing is I couldn't deny everything because I winded up agreeing making me just as guilty. When a big fight happened, I just said nothing while everyone else made excuses saying they didn't say anything.

To this day I just said nothing to them, I just wanted to get out of that group. If I apologized for something everyone else did, too, I might have them now as my friends but in the end, the same thing would repeat again and again until I can't tell until when but I was the first to break apart. And now that I got away, I noticed how good I feel about myself for doing that, it always felt ''dirty'' whenever I was with them because they always had something to talk badly of, it unconsciously changed something in me as well.

I hope you also found a more suitable environment for yourself, a change of your surrounding does really change you, too. Positive but also sadly negatively. I hope the latter doesn't occur to you again.

It's amazing that you stayed true to yourself, similar in my case, they didn't confess their wrongdoings, either and rather looked for a scapegoat which would be the two of us.. And with saying nothing, you also didn't point at the others, I assume. I'm missing the right word but I think that's very strong of you? I mean it could've ended with a chaos where no one wants to admit and everyone just puts blame on someone randomly.

Getting out of that circle isn't a loss to you, only a win. They are probably still continuing the talking about the other thing but now, you don't have to be a part of it anymore.
Eventually, another argument will come again, it's bound to happen, if they failed to do the same like you did. Making excuses, it shows they didn't feel guilty enough to admit their faults, means they will continue until it leads to the next fallout.

Yes, when I also got out of the group, before feeling like it's easier to breathe, I felt a lot of guilt because they made me think that my intervention destroyed everything on what I had with them. A lot of guilt-tripping and cursing me out and all. But there wasn't really anything that was destroyed by me, it was bound to happen sooner or later, is what I believe, it was more a self-destructive relationship?

I'm glad you made it out and I also wish you well on finding the right people ^^