lmao the cheek to say the grammar is all over the place.. it's honestly fine. we can understand the gist of the chapter it's not that deep.
It's not "cheek" when it's true. It's fact. They use the wrong form of "you're" and tenses. As someone who minored in English, mistakes that are that simple are irritating. It's also another reason no one should trust programs such as Grammarly (as they said they were using) and just learn it yourself. Even if we can understand "the gist", it can stall the enjoyment of a story for people such as myself. Not everyone can ignore poor grammar skills when they can be easily fixed with some studying, or even with a quick question to Google.
..so its not bad, but I suggest going to look for a proof reader. Your grammar is all over the place and it might be beneficial to look at how other teams finish the chapters. The second upload was a huge improvement over the first, so I think with just a little adjusting, you're going to do great. I would suggest putting your notes at the bottom of the pages though, as not a lot of people like them in the middle of pages under panels. Good luck! Keep at it.