I haven't really got any help since... I'm still traumatized and it still messes with my brain till this day.
I’m sorry you had to go through that ):
It's ok I've never had this happen to me but I can understand how fucked up that can be if it were me I would just try to get a good job a move far away from all that and start something new. Sorry if you don't want to hear this I'm just trying to make you feel a little better :(
I'm sorry that you had to went through it. You have a trauma and it's normal for you to act like that and feel like that. Maybe therapy would help, if you would be able to talk it through with a specialist, if you would like to change your mindset if it bothers you. About not trusting men, i understand you, i was never sexually assaulted and i still not trust them trully. Don't think that something is wrong with you. I hope you will feel better and i wish you luck:)
Hey Im sorry I can’t help you more than just commenting here but, don’t feel like you’re disgusting or weird or wrong in anyway. You didn’t choose to go through it and you didn’t condone to it and you didn’t want to think the way you did when you were so young. Don’t fault yourself because of something you didn’t have control over. You’re not disgusting not at all. I really hope you believe me when I say that a therapist or group therapy (where others share their fears and traumas) might be able to help you understand and feel better about yourself. I send you all the love I can from my side of the screen.
Hey, I’m sorry that that happened to you. I’ve been through the same thing when I had just turned 9, and hit puberty(I was an early bloomer), my brother began taking an advantage of me, he is was in his early teens, so he’d watch a lot of porn and because of that he’d make me do the same things they’d do in those kinds of video. I didn’t lose my virginity but nevertheless, It was terrifying and I hated it with every fabric of my being. It finally stopped when my mom found out and well since then he and I have continued to play this facade of a sibling relationship and I can’t do anything about it for now, cuz I’m not independent yet but I plan on cutting all ties with him once I get a job and move out. This isn’t the only reason why I plan on doing that tho, unfortunately there are many more. He’s also abusive, selfish and controlling towards everyone in my family.
I know it probably wouldn’t help, with me telling you my story but I just wanna say that I know how it feels. You feel dirty, out of place, way too mature for kids your age and often have to hold the title of being the biggest pervert.
Because of what happened, I’m afraid that I could be a nymphomaniac, I’m already showing such signs. My libido is really high but I try to control it by taking care of myself but lately it’s not enough. I hope Karma fucks these degenerates in the ass.
I'd experienced that...when I was a child and my I parents were not home and Two of my cousins..did the same thing.
That time idk what happened to me but they always said "let's play"... And take me to the room.
Then it seems like I kinda developed an addiction on watching prn, pleasuring my self at age of 13. And until that day age of 19 while washing some plates...i recall all that things happened to me and I only realised that I'm a victim of child sexual abuse. It's kinda hit rock bottom for late realising, recalling and couldn't tell to my parents. even though they(cousins)were able come in our house freely as if they done nothing wrong anything to me.
I couldn't even make a conversation and eye contact to them. And I feel like I'm the one who need to feel the shame and anxiety. I did share this to my friend, cause I think I need to let it out the this feeling and the weight on my shoulders.
For me Opening up for strangers of a close friend kinda relieved me. Although when my memories recalls it again, I keep myself busy so that I can forget it and try to move forward even though its hard to move on but step by step.
Idunno but I really kinda relate to this..
the s3xual abuse stuff.. it messes with ur brain
This is what I felt when I was 5-+++ yr old, I was s3xually abus3d by my cousins... they were 4 in total... it's just really hard to move on like you know I started to crave for s3xual stuff in such a young age and I hated it like everytime I see a good looking older dude when I was a 7-+++? I always imagined doing the dirty with them like idunno why I always think of that like just why? It's disgusting. I'm just really disappointed and sad that in such a young age my head was filled with stuff I shouldn't even know about. It really traumatized me when I turned 10 and realized it was wrong and disgusting.. now I cant relax on dudes who're older than me even tho if they were my family. I was really embarrassed when ppl my age ask why I wasn't fazed with s3xual topics, they were always teasing me about being a p3rvert when they don't know I was mentally and s3xually abused so it wasn't new to me. I'm 15 now.. still to this day I really feel disgusted and I hate that the 4 dudes just got away with it, like they're talking to me so casually and act like it didn't happen.Idunno if y'all understand, I'm sorry. I also dunno if I should share this or what.. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this.. this is my first time opening up about this.