He didn't really say no, it was more of like a not now its my turn. and most bottoms in bl probably wouldn't top either way. i dunno why that is though.
hahaha i dont rly know if i qualify to answer since im lesbian and not mlm, but within the gay community, positions in bed rly depend solely on the persons involved. some ppl are strictly top, and either dont care/dont feel comfortable about bottoming. vice versa with bottoms. there are also switches which are ok with both. i myself only bottom and would feel awkward and out of place topping a girl.
I have to say this but being mainly or solely a bottom or a top is not heteronormative nor is it that rare. In this scene, Hwi didn’t want to bottom and Param didn’t show “discomfort” in not being allowed to top Hwi. Maybe he doesn’t want to bottom, like ever. I don’t want to bottom in sexual relationships. Couples many times pick and choose sex roles based on what they are comfortable with. In this case, Param had taken control and was pleasuring Hwi. Hwi teasing Param really is not that serious. Param did not show discomfort or a huge urge in wanting to top.
I have a college best friend who is gay and he also likes to only top. I personally thought most queer people switch but it really depends. Not that it’s my business.
the rational of my point is the context of how their relationship started. You have a virginal man who is made fun of for his repressed expression of his sexuality, and then for it to be policed (blackmailed) for the sake of the plot to create not only the plot but the initial main character interactions. The whole plot centers around a man who cannot freely express his desires and turn-ons. My point isn't about their chosen sexual roles per say, but rather Hwi discouraging the idea of Param topping. They can decide of course that they're fine with their chosen roles, not everyone is versatile or even engaging in penetrative anal sex within a gay relationship that's BL's ignorance. It's rather that Param's sole sexual experiences have been with Hwi, Param may in fact like topping he may never know, but because BL often creates strict sexual roles and adheres to them, a plot centered around a gay man coming into his sexual identity and now actively pursuing sexual pleasure shouldn't be policed when it's convenient for the plot to maintain the status quo. It's a very specific thing in BL, that doesn't make sense when especially it's two men sexually involved, and can easily take on dominant/ submissive role should they choose, but the option when presented is often solely decided upon by the more experienced partner. It creates these binaries for sex, given sexual positioning in BL is not solely just an act of sex, but a characterization and significant to that character's reception. It bothers me that people are so desensitized to BL's incorrect and stereotypical portrayal of gay/bi men is seen as gospel and any critique or point out maybe something that could have been written/ drawn with better insight is just wrong for doing so. I could break this down further, but it's often just a waste of time.
I brought up the chosen roles not being heteronormative because I keep seeing it. yaoi/bl is many times heteronormative, but having preferences for positions is pretty common among queer people. There are plenty of queer couples who don’t switch. I agree with strict sexual roles being part of BL but most of the audiences are straight women with fantasies. There are plenty of BL with queer audiences but many times, the audiences are straight women hence why we see the strict sexual roles. My perception of BL is not even close to real queer men and I would hope this is the case for most? There is not much realism.
In regards to this story, I think the author did something new by having Param explore sex with another man. I don’t usually see this in BL. So his only sexual experience has not only been with Hwi. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing for someone to have sex with one person in their whole life. Hwi is still the more sexually experienced so it’s not really that out of place for him to take the lead more often than not and it makes sense. While I can see your point about it being cliche and overdone, it’s not far fetched. I agree that it would have been great if they switched but the story still wanted to stay true to their sexual dynamic, in that Param is still learning and becoming more sexually experienced. Which has been the main plot. They might switch later on, who knows? That comes down to how Hwi feels about it but I don’t think this sex scene was supposed to be a toxic element of the sexually experienced one putting down the less sexually experienced one.
I'll admit may tone may sound like I looking down on their relationship but that was not my intention.And yes Hwi is Param's first ever sexual experience it is pointedly stated somewhere earlier in the story that Param was completely sexually repressed in all ways. Again I don't dislike the story, I'm just exhausted by this dynamic of virgins taught by more sexually experienced partners, and somehow their sexual education is limited to the roles and desires of the experienced partner. It's very common in BL, and while it's not actually toxic, I mainly find issue with it because of how it just unfortunately plays into BL's narrative of emasculation, misogyny, and gender roles which are in fact heteronormative and can be toxic. This author and this plot may not even be intending to be complicit to this, but my pointing it out has been received with hostility from others not willing to engage in conversation like you are kindly doing. Again i wouldn't have any issue with this if this trope didn't rely on the uke/seme dichotomy defining a character rather than just a preferred sexual role in a genre centered outside of "conventional" = heteronormative romantic partnering.
Many books and movies of all backgrounds have the same dynamic of the virgin being taught by the sexually mature one. It makes me think that it could be a huge desire for many? Or maybe it’s a common thing that happens? I’m not sure. But it does give the sexually mature one more power. I agree with that. I also really like this story and just like to discuss the negatives as well as the positives. It’s not perfect and I agree with the points you made about the seme/uke roles defining characteristics but I still like their relationship. I also like how Param is becoming more confident and upfront. I hope to see a more upward trend.
it's honestly insulting and really annoying how often this cliche is used. The more experienced or hyper sexual partner always dictates how the sexual roles play out in the relationship while the inexperienced partner will be teased with an opportunity to experience beyond their sexual limitations, but then is pigeon holed right back into a predetermined role. I seriously don't even understand the point of why this trope is played out especially in BL, if it just falls on heteronormative gender roles and performance in a plot about queer men.EVEN if there are men who strictly enjoy topping or bottoming, why allow one character to act/voice their discomfort in this, and reducing this discomfort to a emasculating joke at best and a serious issue of Hwi controlling Param's sexual expression at worse, an issue that was the very basis of how they met. I just don't understand why this is seen as cute. Even if Hwi didn't want to bottom disregarding Param like that, given how they began seeing each other really makes his response extremely patronizing. But continuous context and self awareness has never been BL's strong point. SO I shouldn't be surprised or think much of it further that communicating healthy sexuality and gender education won't be found here that's for sure...