I need to vent a little a bit if you all don't mind

My dearest friend passed away because he hold a massive colossal fart so that he doesn't fuck it up to get a date with a girl. There's a saying in my homeland that goes "I rather lose a friend than an intestine" in other words it is not healthy to hold a fart for that long because it can actually destroy your colon for good. May you rest in peace my dearest simp friend who couldn't let his fart fly away upon that faithful day.