So my parents had problems because they loved me? I mean it appears you are saying that uncontrollable emotions like love and hate are the problem not the abuse itself. Unfortunately not surprising though considering that's what the majority of people believe, anyways. Why else do they call FLs 's*****' for loving someone who is an abusive pos?
Also, I have a mental illness much like the FL in this story. I have a low functioning thyroid. Which causes depression. While she very obviously had postpartum depression. And yes, the people around us who expected either of us to act like a loving person when we literally can't were absolutely being ableist and abusive... just so you know. The FL never tried to hurt her son. Did she hurt him? Yes. But intent isn't magic. So obviously when a person hurts someone else it doesn't *have* to be intentional, which is another thing you are implicitly claiming is impossible. My parents hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally, many a time, despite them loving me, after all.
What I am also trying to make clear by saying all this is that the FL's position (being isolated, viewed with disdain by the servants, everyone putting the blame on her solely including her husband, giving birth at a young age, etc... all leading to SEVERE postpartum depression) is more comparable to yours than anyone else you brought up. So holding her in contempt on the one hand while regarding everyone else as the victims of abuse they are is I think at least slightly incongruous.
I've been abused all my life, by my father at that, physically and mentally and now that I'm studying psychology, I can actually understand where mc is coming from. You can't just tell people here that we shouldn't pity her because she was a bad mother. She was but she actually have a justified reason of why she was acting that way. Sorry that you went through all of that but that doesn't mean mc is the same as your mother. That's just called projecting. Depression is no joke, being forced to marry young is fucked up, being neglected by your husband while being pregnant is horrible enough. It's not like she spent her time going out somewhere and having fun, she stayed in her room most of the time because she was depressed. Whether you like it or not, mental illness actually affect how you interact with people and your relationship with them. You obviously hold resentment against your mother but MC isn't your mother. I know you're angry but you're anger is misplaced. It doesn't make her lose any fault, yes but it shows that she actually cared, she was just mentally ill. She wouldn't be here if she didn't care, if she didn't have remorse. She even have signs of still having depression, especially her monologue sometimes stray into wanting to just stay in her room again because she feels like inadequate or she feels like it might not change anything. Don't just gloss over depression because you have a problem of your own. The important thing is, she's doing her best to be a mother, even when people gaslight her just because she's a woman.
Well she gaslight her husband too come on lets be real. She was alone when she was pregnant but everyone in the comments acting like husband is an asshole who just go to a vacation letting her preggo wife alone. He has gone to war and what did she say to him "you left me alone while I was pregnant". Think about going to a place trying to save your life by killing others and having most of your family going after you because of your title and coming back to home and your wife is " you left me". He loved her and she always said "my best choice" did she think how could that hurt him? So why should I feel sorry for her. Did she have problems hell yeah but she acts like she is the only one. Just because manga is putting up her feelings more important people are acting like she is a saint and husband is an asshole and forgetting how could an ignored, abused child feels like. It's how she feels why she did like that what I am saying there is no depth to other character's psychological problems. Where is husband's PTSD and whole years of rejection from her loved ones. Why did we not see his reasons what he did? Oh no he is just an asshole who left a pregnant woman. If we're looking at characters in that kinda depth then I am saying she is a selfish woman who never tried to think about other people's feelings. She didn't even try much to repair her relationship with her son. Magicaly her son started to love her. Where is his all buckled up hate for her mother who acted like she didn't even exist. No this story is about her her her. And I am saying this if everyone in the comments got the guts to say such superfacial things like oh husband is bad MC is pitiful then yeah she is selfish. That's it. Everyone likes her because we only see her feelings and forget how she doesn't even think about what hee actions can cause.
As a person who got clinical depression, ptsd and suicidal thoughts for more than a decade. My mother was the one who fucked me up. I don't understand how people are putting their selfs to FL and pitying her. Parents fucked child's mental health. Father got problems mother had problems but they choose to just ignore the child. And saying she was trying to get better. If my mother who acted like I didn't existed for 15 started act like a "mother". I would only say fuck off. She hated him. Yeah she had problems but she fucking hated him. As a child who was hated a lot. I do not care what your reason is you're an adult you have no right to act like that. I'm only feeling bad for the child.