IKR, I always told myself I'm not gonna be like my parents, but without even realizing it I'm doing exactly what my parents did to me to my nephew. though I regretted it after, but I just can't control it, it became vicious cycle, at least I don't get physical like my parents did but just having the thought make me realize I'm no different after all. Sure it didn't excuse toxic behavior but it's like it's been imprinted in your brain or something.
true. i have a little sister and we have big gaps between us... and i do that to her as well. of course like you, i never get physical. it’s just that i don’t care about her. i never seem to treat anyone right and it’s really hard to change. the environment you grew up in really does play a huge role. and sadly we are influenced negatively. :( the thought of having kids scare me because i know i will be a bad parent..
i have a bad relationship with my parents and it really does affect you like this. i can relate to matthew... i have been putting up this nice person mask for so long around others that i feel like my personality is fake. especially me in romantic relationships, i am always so distant manipulative and toxic. this is why i avoided relationships and put up a wall.