As you seem to struggle with shame over this relationship, I want to tell you some important things.
Loving someone is a beautiful thing, and breaking up doesn't take away the sincerity of your feelings. While early stages of love can blindfold us a bit to the flaws of the object of our affection, it doesn't make you an idiot. Even in an established relationship, you can be tricked. Being Lied To doesn't Make You An Idiot, just not omniscient. If the recipient of your love treated you badly, it's not because "you deserved it" or "should've been smarter". It's because they were an asshole to you. If they act badly it's on them. But most importantly, if the relationship ended because they refused to respect your boundaries, it isn't because you didn't think about them, but because they were insensitive. Boundaries are important, in all relationships. Being your partner does not entitle them to do as they wish with you, or give their wishes precedence over your well-being. You loved him. He was a jerk. That only tells that you can love, and he is a jerk. Doesn't speak badly of your character.
PS: It isn't healthy to be scared or intimidated by your partner. If they use intimidation to control you; You should talk about it with someone trusted!
As you seem to struggle with shame over this relationship, I want to tell you some important things.
Loving someone is a beautiful thing, and breaking up doesn't take away the sincerity of your feelings.
While early stages of love can blindfold us a bit to the flaws of the object of our affection, it doesn't make you an idiot. Even in an established relationship, you can be tricked. Being Lied To doesn't Make You An Idiot, just not omniscient.
If the recipient of your love treated you badly, it's not because "you deserved it" or "should've been smarter". It's because they were an asshole to you. If they act badly it's on them.
But most importantly, if the relationship ended because they refused to respect your boundaries, it isn't because you didn't think about them, but because they were insensitive. Boundaries are important, in all relationships. Being your partner does not entitle them to do as they wish with you, or give their wishes precedence over your well-being.
You loved him. He was a jerk. That only tells that you can love, and he is a jerk. Doesn't speak badly of your character.
PS: It isn't healthy to be scared or intimidated by your partner. If they use intimidation to control you; You should talk about it with someone trusted!
Sincerely,
A random Lady.