This exactly. Obviously cheating is wrong, but this is also a story about someone that’s never known real love and would self-destruct at any second to have it. A seven year long abusive relationship is hard to break out of for anyone, but especially for someone who struggles with affection like this MC. I just feel pity for him :/. I hope that no matter where the story goes, he can at least develop and feel happiness at the end of it.
right. someone like him unfortunately has never known what a healthy relationship looks like, be it family or love or whatever... even if he does find someone who can help him heal, the partner needs to fully understand his past and accept him as he is. As in, they should understand that mc will unconsciously do things that may cause problems in the relationship. it's just all so sad tbh...
I’m only dropping in to read the reactions from people because I am so hesitant to watch the brown haired guy get heartbroken. Because the black haired guy is ill, it’s not his fault, and there’s no one to hate on here (besides the abusive ex but it’s not enough )
reading chapter by chapter has been stressful ngl lol so I think I'm gonna go ahead and finish the raws. I'd be happy to spoil in detail afterwards
Sorry but reading the season/raws during the time the mc cheated on him- I didn’t see the brown haired guy doubting him or being impatient at all. They had a perfectly fine relationship and things were going well. But it was the mc’s insecurities that caused himself to be the one doubting and being paranoid. He was so insecure that he saw the brown haired guy simply talking and walking side by side (no physical contact, no reasonable actions or expressions to cause a misunderstanding), next to a girl that he just imagined him cheating. He started being cold and withdrawn from brown hair and not communicating his worries and eventually took the initiative to cheat by calling up his ex for comfort. He only realized his mistake the morning after but he fully enjoyed the deed during it.
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The brown haired guy only became suspicious AFTER the mc continued to cheat and sneak out multiple times in the middle of the night to meet his ex. The brown hair guy caught on and eventually confronted him one day, the mc was in denial and got defensive, trying to hide the evidence of love bites all over his body. (If I remember correctly the mc was still being withdrawn and cold to the brown haired guy to avoid him finding out).
I can understand the mc’s trauma and I wouldn’t have minded if he was struggling and going back and forth if he wasn’t in a relationship. What bothered me the most was how things were basically settled and he was fully in a healthy relationship with the brown haired guy, but then decided to go back to the ex and made a mistake. I don’t blame too much for the continuous cheating after the first time since the ex blackmailed him saying he would tell brown haired guy he cheated on him. The mc got scared and did what he wanted in exchange of keeping it a secret. Afterwards, brown hair found out and of course was reasonably upset and left while the mc cried and ran after him.
I just think if the mc was at least aware of anything internal issues he was struggling with, I wish he would’ve decided to never date until he was mentally ready. To avoid hurting brown hair.
This!!! Hurts me so much because brown hair doesn’t know a THING about that terrible relationship. I feel so bad for him to have to go through all of that.
this is a more detailed spoiler than I was aware of.. and truly awful of mc, I agree. While I do have sympathy for him, there's only so much that can be excused because of trauma. Like I said earlier, mc is just unfit and incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship as he is now, so shouldn't have started with brown haired to begin with, especially when he's still mentally shackled to his abuser. it's a terrible situation for both of them, and I hope there's some kind of healing for them at the end. sigh
Yeah honestly, I’m a little biased since I’ve read many trash ML stories where the top is the one being terrible and cheating- so when the mc does it, especially to someone who doesn’t deserve it, I don’t see much redemption when it comes to salvaging the relationship. (I do always give benefit of the doubt and exceptions to cheating due to rare circumstances).
The best ending I see is the MC actually becoming independent, healing from his trauma, and not getting into a relationship at all. Despite how cute brown hair and mc were, I can’t deny the fact that mc likely gave brown hair trauma as well from his cheating, so now brown hair is suffering due to mc. I would like brown hair to stand his ground and not go back to such a complicated relationship. (Since I’ve seen a couple of mc’s who either cheat or go back and forth between two leads but the good ML is a pushover and forgives whatever the mc does). At most it’d be nice if they became friends. I really hope the author doesn’t brush aside the pain brown haired suffered simply cause mc is a victim of his own trauma. Both trauma’s should be addressed.
Yes exactly. Thanks for saying that.
to be clear, I do not condone cheating whatsoever, but the context and circumstances here are a bit different than the common scenarios. He grew up being abused his whole life as a child, and SEVEN years of mental and physical abuse as an adult, that's not something that can be fixed or healed over night. He doesn't cheat for fun or pleasure or because he's in love with the black haired seme, but because he has been CONDITIONED into dependance and submission. He's literally mentally ill. someone like him subconsciously seeks certainty, something that's familiar and a relationship where he doesn't have to feel or think for himself. So brown haired guy being impatient or constantly doubting him etc. basically trigger his subconscious to retreat back to what he knows, like a defense mechanism. Again, I'm not saying any of that excuses or justifies his wrong actions, and at the end of the day, MC is simply unfit and unable to maintain a healthy relationship without extensive therapy.
And That being said I'll probably either drop this or wait until it's completed.