I dunno, but maybe

this is like ya know when sb doesn't learn love properly through their parents etc. and confuses types of love and mixes them up. Humans are capable of brainwashing themselves a bit, especially when they lack information and it creates a bias to bridge the gap in knowledge they have and overcome potential negative stress from having that gap and feeling a sense of insecurity. Cause not knowing can literally make us panic if we are in danger and need to think fast. So our brain kinda creates fake confidence so we don't stumble IF we ever have a crisis and need to gather info fast to come up with a solution. Anyway. So I used to be similar to this. Where I kept confusing types of love. Like I would think I am romantically interested in an older man, because he was treating me so well and making me feel good and it made me care for him and trust him and shit. It was platonic love, a feeling like a "father figure", but my heart that was starved for love confused stuff like this, because my idea of what love is was incomplete and dysfunctional so experiencing a more functional "father-like" person made me think "this must be what they call love" as in "romantic love", but it was in fact not. I could imagine "doing it" with them, because this is what we learned is part of romantic love yeah? But I dunno how to explain, if I was infant of them I would never feel like that. It would actually disturb me. Feel off and wrong. And once someone like this actually sexually harassed me, someone I felt platonic affection for, and it was the most disturbing and painful thing ever. It felt so wrong. I felt betrayed. That he would think "like that" of me. That is when I understood that something was off about my understanding of love and its nuances. I remembered multiple instances such as this since my early teenage years and realised that most of the times where I thought "I was in love" it was actually not really "that love". It was admiration, curiosity, friendship or a feeling like "this is what it would be like to have an older/younger brother". I realised I was never truly "in love". Never had true carnal desire towards a man and literally just felt sexually attracted to him. It solidified itself when I did meet someone and felt this literally from the second I saw him. I was like "wow, I WANT HIM". While I was with him, my body would always naturally gravitate towards him and crave physical touch even if it's just our legs touching. My eyes would search for him in a room. I would discover new sides of me, my sexual side, my erotic side and my feminine side just by being with him (without even having sex). I understood what they mean when they say "feeling like a woman with him". I did. Was so electrifying. The "jealousy" is also different with him than with anyone else. Is nuanced. So maybe...MAYBE this is like woonyoung having some sort of platonic love towards the teacher going on that he confuses and subconsciously is actually romantically in love with dohan. But he doesn't realise it. Is stubborn about it, due to having established this "fact" about himself in his head already and identifying with it etc. It would comfort me to think this way in this story at least.