Trauma from the first person to ever treat him like a human literally setting himself on fire while saying "why did we have to meet" and "I love you" as he died might be the answer to quite literally everything lol
It's not that hard to put together his motives and actions if you actually pay attention.
He was abused by his father, treated like a delicate "girl" by other kids his age, and when the one person who treated him like a human child showed up Kojima ended up inadvertently causing his death right before his eyes. Not to mention he doesn't even know what the man was thinking or even if he was the murderer at all. And after aaaallllllll that the adults around him basically called him a child whore and blamed every death that was related on him.
He wanted to die 'cause he feared he'd cause someone else he loved to die a horrible death. Kojima also felt that he wasn't worthy of living 'cause of everything that has ever been done to him.
He's only faltering now 'cause Daimon has been helping him feel human again without even realizing it, and it was seeing Daimon nearly get beaten to death to save him that forced Kojima to set him up with that one chick then disappear.
Hope this helps lol
I feel so stupid, but I don’t get what Kojima (blond uke) wanted in the first place? Like, I get he wanted to die, but why? How does that relate to the woodsman issue? And why even bother doing all that freaky BDSM shit and dragging out his goal of dying? And why did he even have a business man job at all?
Like I get the current plot, but the basic character motivations elude me…