Yeah this! It's so annoying and infuriating. What's more when fans want the fl to get together with 2nd ml because they 'sympathize' with him. They'll list out all the bad qualities of the ml while wilfully ignoring the 2nd ml's. I don't know if you know, but it's the same with an ongoing anime, a sign of affection, there are so many people hating on the ml and the fl because they prefer the 2nd ml and fl's definitely not choosing that controlling asshole. I'm literally so baffled because the ml is so good actually but they prefer the other dude ┑(￣Д ￣)┍.
Kotaro's trying to control her in the name of duty. It's so obvious it's personal. I don't care about your feelings dude if this is how you're gonna treat her.
YES. I wanted to mention Oushi in my comment but I decided not to. Part of my fury was directed at Oushi when I wrote this. Do the emotions of the female lead not matter to these people?
Dont bring a sign of affection into this. He isn’t controling
He is. Don’t even get me started. Actually, you got me started. Respectfully, Oushi does demonstrate clear patterns of trying to control the female lead in problematic ways. For example:
Wanting her caged and hidden away denies her autonomy and comes from a lens of ableism regarding her disability. Regardless of caring intent, restricting someone's freedom of choice is always an act of seeking control over them.
His jealousy and sense of entitlement to her attention also reveals a controlling mentality. Love should not feel possessive in that manner or demand reciprocation of feelings without consent.
Infantilizing her communication creates unhealthy dependency, rather than directly establishing means for her to express herself independently.
In these examples, his behavior directly stems from a desire to dictate choices for her rather than respecting her agency to navigate situations herself. That urge to protect by controlling another person’s rights is harmful no matter if fiction or reality.
I understand feeling defensive about a character you connect to. But recognizing unhealthy, problematic behaviors like his is important.
While heartbreak explains his emotions, it does NOT justify the projection of control, claim and entitlement onto her autonomous being. She owes him nothing just because he loves her.
I don't know what to tell you but yeah he is, among other things. If he was the ml people would be calling their relationship toxic and say he's a red flag but apparently because he's the 2nd ml they pity him instead and somehow become blind to his faults.
And that's only the most recent example I could think of. Most 2nd mls are like this that's why I never like them.
So real. I always hate second male leads. I really cannot stand them one bit. Some are okay but the controlling ones who are always interfering infuriate me…
Same. What's even more infuriating about the Oushi situation is that people even hate Yuki for not choosing him saying she doesn't deserve him. Lmao Wtf? I swear half the reason I'm mad is because of these fans's poor reading comprehension.
What is it with childhood friends and trying to control the female lead’s autonomy when it’s too late? Pack your shit and leave, it’s just fucking annoying. Boohoo waa waa you couldn’t get the girl and now you want to pursue her when it’s too late. Get your pity party out of here it just pisses me off you stupid fucker.