Responses
i just want to say thank you and i appreciate you for taking the time to type all of this out. these are my exact thoughts during this chapter, and you encapsulated everything. this has to be my favorite chapter yet, with all the deeper meanings and subtle, chaotic emotions that are going on between these two. ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Ok, usually I have a LOT to complain about but this chapter was. Beautiful.
Now don't get me wrong, rape is still absolutely atrocious, and up until now I wholeheartedly believe it has absolutely no place in this story, but this particular time, it was just.. WOW.
Everyone confused by this chapter, this is what was happening:
MC was speaking hard. He was not functioning, which I mean if COURSE he wasn't, he just lost the last little bit of family he had. The last person who truly loved him was gone, forever, and it was hitting him hard. He was falling apart so badly at a time that they need him equally badly if not even more so.
The espers let him greeting as long as they felt they could in the current circumstances, but Almuten would only be this vulnerable for so long and this was likely going to be their one and only time to act, their last chance to take Almuten down, so they needed to knock MC out of his spiral and fast because he's the only guide that can actually handle the group of psychopaths he's attached to. Yes, he is absolutely abused by them and they're absolutely atrocious human beings, but everyone up until him couldn't handle their power and absolute sexual insanity. So they NEED him. So the leader of the group took it upon himself to force MC to feel something, anything, but grief.
So, in an attemp to have him feel, he tried for hate, tried to get him angry at him, but it wasn't working as well as he needed it to. Leader then went for the surefire way to make him feel. Tapping him would either cause him pleasure, or a physical kind of pain; either way m it's not sadness.
When MC started to switch from one emotional extreme to another, he started to latch on to it as it was the one thing at that moment that could stop the pain of losing his brother. Because Leader decided to start pulling away, MC started begging him to keep going so he didn't start to fall back down the hole the spiral had dug into his emotional psyche that the sex was lifting him away from. After feeling pleasure, he cling to it as though it was the only thing that could chase away the pain, and at that moment, it kinda was.
So although I am still HEAVILY against rape, and absolutely believe there is WAY too much of it in bl these days, this particular scene was written and conveyed absolutely beautifully and three literal only time I personally believe rape should have ever taken place in this story. No it doesn't make it right, it just makes this part of the story very well made.
It's like how you can think an insane murderous character is awesome. It's not that if they were real yours want to be bffs with them, it's that they're written in a way that you approve of. Same with this scene in my opinion. This is why, although the act is disgusting, the scene is beautiful.