Just like how some disorders aren’t clearly understood, neither is yours. And neither is NPD. We shouldn’t judge.
This is going to be lengthy but first of all I genuinely hope you heal. I’m cupioromantic, meaning that I want to experience romantic love but I am unable to. Me and that friend of mine were mentally ill, I did not enter that relationship unaware. She was as lonely as me and wanted affection, i wanted to be the one to give her that as I saw myself in her. I am not a perfect victim and I knew what I was doing, I treated her like she was my entire world as I know what it felt like to be alone and I didn’t want her to be. At the beginning of our relationship, she was not verbally abusive and she was kind to me. A part of the reason why my relationship with her ended up being the way that it was is because I treated her like she was above me, and she eventually started treating me as something below her. I was aware of that but I didn’t mind as my perception of “love” back then was different and because I wanted her to use me. I wanted to be in love, I became her friend because I wanted to be happy by making her happy. I was using her just as she was using me. Our relationship degraded, I didn’t know what I want, I hated what I’d become and what she’d become and I wanted us to be just like how we used to be and I wanted her to see me as a person again. I don’t think the way she treated me was right nor do i think the way I worshipped her like a god was right. Me and her made decisions that affected each other greatly as we were both lonely teenagers that weren’t in their right minds. Maybe you’re right that I’m saying she cared for me to make me feel better, but I was still friends with her and I knew everything about her in the way she knew everything about me and I don’t think I can say anything that can make you think otherwise. A part of the reason why I believed she cared for me is simply because when I first tried to leave her she wouldn’t let me. I think the reason why we don’t agree is because your perception of “care” differs from mine. To me, you can hurt someone while also caring for them. I’m assuming that to you, if you care for someone you shouldn’t hurt them. Lastly, I just want to say that you shouldn’t lump people together in a group and think that majority of a group of people are terrible. BPD was and still is demonized by others, people with BPD are called heartless, difficult to love, etc. People with NPD are treated even worse by others, including people in the cluster b spectrum.
Thanks for telling me. It got deep out of nowhere tho LOL. This all started bc of a soccer manwha is crazy. It’s funny bc I’ve been in your spot maybe not the same position but similar like freakishly similar so I get you. I think you’re mistaking her “care”. My person did not care for me, I believe she used me as her lifeline so we bonded over needing each other but it wasn’t real genuine care. I “cared” for her bc she made me feel needed and necessary, same with her. Yalls relationship sounds very similar. Ik you want to think positive thoughts and memories but that’s not healthy. By moving on you should cut all thoughts of “what if she did care” etc. my girl also loss her absolute shit when I tried to leave, I thought for a while it meant she cared but it isn’t that. It’s just what I did for her and now she won’t have that support anymore. Loving and caring about someone shouldn’t be about needs but WANTS. U should be able to thrive without them in your life but just want them there to be and make it happier but not rely on them for your sole happiness if that makes sense. Tbh I’m gonna be real with you, and I’m sorry if it hurts, this is genuine without an offense to you but you need to stop romanticizing your past relationship with that girl, it won’t help you heal at all. Maybe your girl did care or mines did who knows but that doesn’t matter, it wasn’t healthy and a real genuine bond. That’s that. That’s why I hate when ppl glamorize kainess relationship/dynamic but ig whatever floats their boat. Also I have never heard anyone demonize BPD darling, we are heavily romanticize if at all. They always want an obsessive partner. Idk where you are getting ppl dogshitting us tho fuck them tho
*Soccer Manga* This is all started because of a soccer MANGA.
Ok
shipping wars to trauma dumping is crazy some of yall need to realize we ship characters who are toxic and insecurely attached not because we enjoy the toxicity and romanticize it but bc there's more room for character development. in ness's backstory it was hinted kaiser does actually care, turns out its a case of unreliable narrator. idk why u thought u were making a point w the "how is their relationship complex kaiser is just abusing ness" when the mental state of someone being abused by the person they idealize is the literal definition of complex
it's fun to see character A who doesnt actually gaf abt character B start realizing they are just as human and actually develop genuine feelings for them, its the potential of what they could be. anyone who has half a braincell wont let some edgy soccer manga ship affect their irl relationships anyway youre making wayy too big of a deal out of this
Ok I mean ur also making it a big deal by putting in your two cents lol and replied with paragraphs
Please! This convo was ova yesterday. I understand you tried to clear things up but like…
Leave the shit where it is cuz obviously you not about to get through to this nig bro
dude I mean you're still here too... so like take your own advice
you guys got two pages of long ahh essays here im just here bc i like arguing
LMAOO ok good for you then ig?
uhh i dont wanna?
yes!
lol ok, guess everyone in this thread got issues. lets go...ig?
im not traumatized or anything like yall but if enjoying yapping counts as an issue yh ig...?
No Genshin fan has no issues.. Kaveh pfp..?
dude you came into a thread that had nothing to do with you (yes ik its public) to put your two cents into (two whopping paragraphs is still something) obviously looking to start a fight not just "yap" as you so call it with the aggressive tone you had. no one said you are traumatized but u def have issues of your own lol if this is what you do when you're bored. takes one to know one
no literally LOL
whoops got me there
Learning more about Kaiser and Ness' relationship and I personally think that Kaiser DOES see Ness as a dog. He cares for Ness because he sees Ness akin to a "pet" of his. I think it's definitely because of 1) friendship that he won't acknowledge and 2) his feeling of "ownership" towards Ness. Kaiser says that he liked the soccer ball because no matter what he did to it, it always came back. Sounds similar to his relationship with Ness. Ness is a willing victim of abuse. I'm not saying he wants it. To be more specific, I think he knows what Kaiser's doing is wrong but doesn't care because Kaiser acknowledges him + because he cares sm for Kaiser. To him who was neglected and made fun of for his dreams, Kaiser is some sort of 'salvation' so even insults & physical injuries are "fine". After all isn't bite also touch?
In this chapter we really see how Ness cares so deeply for Kaiser while Kaiser remains with his eyes set on the goal to not feel like a failure. I can't wait for the weird Isagi harem shippers to come here and leave braindead comments again.. (sarcasm if it wasn't obvious enough)