SPOILER
and at the same time while having sex with the younger brother, while it was "consensual", he repeated said "don't touch me", "I don't want this". His body/heart HATES the touch of the younger brother, yet he still decided to have sex with him. Self-destruction?
Basically is a autodrestructive behavior and a dissotiation between his mind and his body. I think is a typical reaction of sexual abuse surviviors.
Self-destruction at his finest.
No doubt he is just destroying himself. I guess he doesn't mind sex but he has to be the one "in charged". Whenever Hikaru touches him during sex, he feels scared to have this "control" taken away from him. "I don't want this" He hates how rough and forceful Hikaru handles him, also that he's not the one in control of sex. That's what I think?
He might mean the body's reactions. Your body will react, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's enjoying it. Seeing his current emotional state, I'm definitely going to have to say that he does NOT enjoy it at all.
He has lost his all hopes now and has stop defending himself he doesn't care anymore and has given up his body betray his heart is more like he have orgasm and get aroused because of the sex but doesn't mean he enjoy it .It's like what everyone said he is at the point of self destruction now he is like okay you want to fuck let's fuck have it your way no matter what I will say you won't stop so what's the point of rejecting anymore I have nothing to loose anymore .But don't touch my body as if you are making love to your lover . I think it's like that
SPOILER DISCUSSION
So I just read ch 12 on myreadingmanga, and want some opinions.
In this chapter, Hikaru thought to himself "Maybe it's my unconsciousness, but what is happening now is the same as when I cut my hand with the knife. Even so, my body continues to betray my heart."
How are you interpreting it? Im thinking it to be of self-destruction. Hikaru has given into despair and to let the younger brother do whatever he wants. Hikaru has been driven into a corner and that is why his actions (the body) is different from his heart.
I'm not sure whether he means the pleasure of being fucked, but from what I know, you can't really feel pleasure per se (i mean I'm not sure) when you're being raped right? Like maybe a bit because of bodily function, but you're still raped against your will..