what are these comments

you literally explained why it IS stupid and misogynistic to hate on her like she was pretty goddamn rational and being super hateful over her for no reason considering the nature of their relationship before is literally just unwarranted misogyny lmaooo? ... the cognitive dissonance is lwk insane

you literally ignored my entire critique. please reread and come back before trying to create a one sided argument. you have the cognitive dissonance because i deadass explained the reason i understand why people hate on her OR the ml = their own experiences with people that relate to either party’s way of thinking. i myself don’t hate either one and only said i see others pov since everyone has dealt with this type of misunderstanding on both ends… you’re purposefully ignoring that her actions can indeed be unlikeable too ??

no where was i justifying actual misogyny, aka readers hating on her JUST BECAUSE SHES A WOMAN. bean soup ass argument lmao

wish i could explain why you were slow but you blocked me too? guess someone was upset too aww

i dont really see any other reason for people to be hating on her unless they have some sort of internalized misogyny.
No, she wasn't letting him apologize and was clearly upset, but she literally had every right to be. HE HIMSELF had said that he was the problem in their relationship.

As someone who relates A LOT to the mc, even i can sympathize with her. She was trying so hard in their relationship, its only normal for her to snap…
The only two reasons I can think of for hating her is 1. Misogyny and 2. Lack of understanding about her and her character

And those who are just ignorant of her character and dont bother to understand her are def just brain dead
(This wasnt an attack towards you, sorry if it seems like so)

thank you for being respectful lmao. but i will have to disagree with most of this. what’s bothering me about the discourse is that people are generalizing good criticism against her = pure misogyny. yes there is misogyny here, im not defending or doubting that nor did i even call out the genuine misogyny up to say its justified. people are already doing that, however there’s another aspect being lost in translation. im ONLY talking about how people can hate her and/or ml because their actions can be similar to our irl experiences!! and it’s a cop out to say critiques of her are misogyny when her actions can be seen as awful too. you unintentionally proved my point that people will side with either party, again due to their subjective lived experience!! my main takeaway was that the hate or loving is justified because everyone’s is different

imo the mcs are unreliable narrators and even if he sees it as “his fault alone” she had responsibility in their falling out too because of the lack of communication prior. i can elaborate but im not sure if you’re interesting because you seem pretty set on hating her = misogyny or dumb… btw like i said in my original comment, i dont even hate her or either of them for that matter? i only claimed to understand the polarizing views

Having polarizing views and hating a character for no real reason is very different, im not talking about the people who simply relate to him more and are upset with her actions, but even then i feel like it was clear that she wasnt at fault for what happened…just my opinion though.
Also i understand what you said about you not being against either character, i was just saying that the only reasons i can think of for someone hating her is either they are misogynistic or simply dont understand why she acted the way she did

I didnt say they were dumb for hating her, i said people who are hating her purely because they dont even make an effort to understand her and then say stuff about how she was wrong for saying this or that are the ones who i feel may be lacking up there.

Also, about how people’s opinions lean more to who they relate to, while i 100% agree, my comment about my relating to him but understanding where she’s coming from, i dont see how it supports that sorrie if im being annoying

exactly but this is where the misunderstanding happened. i already agree people are misogynistic and wasn’t questioning that ?? my only take was that people are conflating criticism and blatantly grouping any/all differing takes on her with that. it’s literally all i mentioned. i wouldn’t say this talk was pointless but you argued for a completely different cause and i did too. you can have this opinion and take her side… that wasn’t the issue at all idc but in the same breath other people feel the same with his side, due to THEIR experiences and it’s not on the basis of misogyny

all that to say, im confused with people getting my opinion mixed up when im not even disagreeing the existence of misogyny when it comes to complex female characters. my issue is readers believing complexity = not deserving of hate. also you said certain readers are braindead so that’s why i mentioned dumb, when that’s not the case for those who hold her accountable. you did mention with it it’s those who’re “ignorant of her character and dont bother to understand her” but ive seen maybe three comments of people saying they hate her w/out explanation. while everyone else was giving valid, detailed reasons for why she’s not a blameless party

op i stand with you and agree with everything you've said here. some of these other comments are making me feel crazy because i keep seeing people be like "well, she meant well!" like since when have good intentions ever patched up the aftermath of a bad situation that came as a result of the behavior borne from those "good intentions"? people do things where they mean well all of the time but if the other party doesn't feel the same way about it then the intentions don't matter anymore and there needs to be a focus and an effort put into sorting out the disconnect. i've done this, and i'm sure plenty of people in these comments have as well, and it doesn't feel good when something you intended to be a boon for someone only turned into a curse.

i've also been on her end of the relationship where you do things for someone in hopes they might reciprocate, but even with all of that effort, they remain noncommittal and unresponsive. it hurts a lot to be in that position, but even still, i never spoke to that partner the way that she did at some points towards jinhyeong here, and i never tried to force them to do things i wanted them to do when i knew it made them uncomfortable. she crossed some pretty clear boundaries of his and never really asked him why those boundaries were in place, and i really diagree with the language she used towards him despite knowing the circumstances were delicate for him, and if it makes me misogynistic to find that aspect of her character unpleasant, then i'll be that i guess lmao.

me too, it’s fucking weird and diminishes any real conversation. it’s ironic because in their attempt to say hating/criticizing her is misogynistic, they’re not realizing it’s also feeding into misogyny to erase her complexity + make her a flat victim. they’re also being homophobic by calling her a “victim of a man trying out his sexuality” like be so fucking fr did you read with your eyes closed… he’s so clearly bisexual and it’s like they forgot his only problem while dating her stemmed from his own familial trauma NOT his sexuality ?? they’re projecting experiences that’s not even theirs and mixing up canon

both of their emotions in the relationship were valid but obviously their actions were not! i genuinely don’t think these people have ever been in relationships before, let alone with multiple genders lmao. her anger is SO relatable and real, but obviously misguided and focused on the wrong topic. she’s still hurt now, but is obviously not thinking straight because she’s doesn’t know how much he’s changed. she wants to take her anger out on him but instead of focusing on herself, it’s scrutinizing any of his explanations. people are hugely ignoring she was a people pleaser, and as you said went above and beyond for someone who wasn’t as eager. however i get his side because ml was also a people pleaser too but felt pressured/guilty because he never wanted those things but didn’t have the confidence to say no. he wasn’t ready to open up yet because he was still highly insecure and scared of her reactions!! readers forget this was his first real relationship, and because of both their anxiety they were constantly overcompensating in different manners

exactly, i feel like me and you had to have been reading a different story from some other people here. the whole thing happened in the way it did because she couldn't miss out on a single party, the type that she attended all the time, because she was desperate to maintain her connections and remain well-liked, clearly at all costs even if the cost was a boundary with someone she loved it is not misogynistic to say she could've done something different here like that's crazy.

fr… ive been in her shoes, which made me learn how people pleasing is manipulative and unhealthy- even if the actions themselves are kind. in some moments we see that her affection isn’t a gift, but a tight rope to make him fulfill requests that clearly make him uncomfortable. she never brought up her insecurities in the relationship, up until he was the one that broke and that was completely unfair. his trauma getting triggered made him spill his feelings in an awful way, but at the same time her resentment and emotional neglect got brought up as a way to dismiss how she made him feel

some of the people here believe he’s fully guilty because he said so ? but fail to realize it’s not the only truth because we see HIS thoughts alone. both their actions can be interpreted different ways based on who’s telling the story. i really think some readers struggle with a literacy issue if they can’t see how flawed his self-perception is at this point. his desire to place ALL the burden of their fall out gives us an understanding of his views but it’s not the objective truth. i do believe he’s more of the guilty party because of the ghosting and not giving her closure, but outside of that she actively participates in the detriment of their relationship and shut him down in the first place