Uh....this man just said he wanted to shoot him between the legs....like he yearns for him but wants to shoot his balls off ...idk bro you want your balls shot off??? Don't know if you read that part
well do you want to get your balls shot?? no, right? that’s why I just mentioned the yearning part ffs
In the beginning he wanted to shoot his balls off because the mc made him feel something that was foreign to him. Later he realized that keeping mc closer to him brought some colour to his meaningless life so he yearns for him.
You just need to understand each character in depth. That's the fun part about reading. And also remember (very important) that it's fiction
I want my man to yearn and stress the fuck out of himself for me like this