share one of the WORST moments of your life

when the homoerotic relationship with my best friend ended and now we dont talk anymore. (i have not moved on tho)

My biggest regret in life was not taking the risk, I fell in love with someone.We became bestfriends, Partners for prom we used to stick together for every event. I didn't want to ruin our friendship so I didn't confess and it was painful because he was the type of person that could be friends with anyone he met.

I thought I couldnt compete and i kept thinking of the downsides of confessing to him, I wanted to preserve our friendship. When I was in 8th grade and he was in 9th he was diagnosed with leukemia he rarely attended school and he was in and out of the hospital. I wish it was a fairytail where I got the courage and confessed to him then he magically got better, but it wasnt.

Late june his health deteriorated and before I knew it I never got the chance to tell him how I feel, And It sucks knowing I never will. If I knew his time was so short I would have confessed even If i got rejected. I wish i could tell him I love him so much :(

I bet he would’ve adored you. You have a pure soul for still holding onto this

Thank you so much may we all heal from the troubles we're facing. I can't imagine what you're going through for you to seek measures like this to cope, I hope that it gets better with time you enduring this pain is proof of how strong and capable you are I hope it eases your mind knowing that :)

It seems you guys have gone through a lot emotionally. I'm not different in that, but my source is kinda health related. I was a really outgoing, happy and self-motivated kinda person. During my early childhood and teenages I've gone through some molestation and stuff, I didn't really know what's good or bad touch back then and I've gone through similar things a few times and in my late teens I was nearly sa'd, later I've gone through a lot of mental distress. I've not yet gotten over it. But the things I'm currently going through are a lot more complicated for me to handle and I don't know how to share even with my close friends. It's really long and I'm sorry... Anyway, due to many happenings I had severe low back pain, head ache, neck pain and stuffs for over two years. I didn't go to a ortho until really late like 3 years of consistent pain but I went to a chiropractor but nothing helped that time. Yeah...from my small age I handled a lot of pain all kinds of pain alone without sharing anything to anybody, which was affecting me later. I was diagnosed with multiple disc bulges. 1 in cervical and 3 in lumbar and 1 in lumbar-sacrum. After MRI and consultation I was advised to undergo surgery every other three years for the rest of my life. And I have other health issues like androgenetic alopecia, PCOS, history of kidney stones, ligament tear in ankle and liver issues, like I know it's a lot now, but I didn't realize these back then. After hearing about surgeries and stuffs I was really broken. I didn't know what to do. Questions like why me? why should I endure this all? What's the point of thinking positively when all's that to my life was hell..all were there. Before my low back pain incident my mom was in a death bed situation for nearly 5 months and during those times I did literally everything in the house, taking care of my mom's needs, hygiene and all; my dad wasn't of much help back then and my elder sis was abroad and I had to shoulder everything literally. My education was a little affected and even during my back pain years I've tried to focus on learning and I've done Bachelor's and master's in education. Sorry, I was rambling and a little lost. Anyway, later I went through physiotherapy, some remedies from my granny and it's been 4 and a half years of consistent low back pain. And due to my not caring mentality, my body suffered a lot and I I also have hip impingement.After physio I did what I could to stay positive for a year, and I gained a lot of weight and I fell down a number of times, I'm not fully healed, oh not even in the path of recovery because all came crashing down on me a few months back because of various reasons from my family's debt, relatives betrayal to few harsh words from my family.

So many times I've thought of sharing many things here, because I can't really be open and honest about these with people in my life because of my now restricted mindset, but today after seeing the topic and it's replies I thought I would do too.

I'm in my late 20s now, not very healthy in mind or body, however I do have some fond memories I look back to, I do want a future where I could be physically and mentally strong and enduring and a reasonable job for a stable wealth conditions to support myself at least. I've had few crushes here and there, but I haven't yet fallen in love with anybody and nowadays I'm not even leaving my house. So yeah, though I have gone through what I feel worse, and so many betrayals in friendships and stuffs, I do hope for a better me. I hope you guys focus on your health and education. In my worse times, when I couldn't even undo my undies or sit up from my bed and I sat through hours when I couldn't even get the shit out of me I've questioned my existence a lot, and I'm still questioning me sometimes, I wouldn't know what to do, I still don't know but I hope to live a painfree life once more, I want to give me n number of chances, I will try to pick myself up and go through whatever is up for me and I'll try to stay strong.

This place is like my little hideout, I don't care whatever happens in my life while I read stuffs, haha ..
David Goggins have helped me a lot, few of my favourite artists have gone through such stuffs and are physically active more than ever which helps me move a little, day by day. I hope to have recovered sometime when I read this or think back in the future. Thank you and I'm also sorry for dumping a lot here. Okay then, stay healthy guys( ◜‿◝ )♡╰(*´︶`*)╯(◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

Shit, I knew I was pouring out a lot but I didn't know it was this long, sorry guys:'(

You’re the one that deserves an apology, and better people with you. All I can offer are a few words of comfort and nothing else so don’t expect top much. You did so well. I‘m glad you‘re able to open that stuff, I hope it freed a little space in your chest. If you wanted to curse the monsters who did you wrong back then you shouldn’t hold back. I hope the world takes it easy on you. Life is short but you still have time. I haven’t prayed for a lot of weeks now because I’ve been doing stuff that made me feel too guilty to turn to the person I believe in most but now I have the courage to pray and you’re the reason I have it. Just know you’re awesome and I would’ve loved to meet at least one person like you in my current life

I know right... and I was too hard on myself, I need to apologize and forgive myself so that I can move forward with a little less baggage.
Your words are more than enough for me now ( ◜‿◝ )♡ and thank you so much <(￣︶￣)>. Haha... Yeah, I do feel light hearted. I've never felt safe with sharing anything to anybody, because for as long as I remember, I was and am a person who's willing to help others but I have not asked help from others, I'm kinda stubborn in that case; but now I'm asking help from my family. I didn't really understand those happenings back then, I really didn't curse them or anything but they are really inhumane, I despise them. I'll try to overcome those and other stuffs little by little. I hope so too. Thank you for saying that (✯ᴗ✯)...(I'm afraid of facing life in regards of health, but I think it's possible if I take care of me.)
When you word it that way, I realize that I have also not been praying much like I used to.

I'm glad I could help you somewhat. I hope you are not hard on yourself. I have a few things I'm guilty of and it's really hard to move forward; but let's seek for forgiveness in praying, repenting and forgive ourselves too.

You made my day would be an understatement. With what you have shared and replied, I'll hold on to hope for as long as I can and I'll revisit to repeat this. And that's how much you are helping me.
Thank you ( ◜‿◝ )♡ and I'll keep it in my mind.╰(*´︶`*)╯... I hope to have someone like you in my life too, and I'm honoured you feel that way. Take care ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
(I maybe overthinking about your last statement a little, so please bear with me for what I'm about to say. Since the wordings are of past tense I'm worried. I wish, hope and pray for you to have a happy, healthy, wealthy, peaceful and long life ahead) thank you for being patient with me( ◜‿◝ )♡