everyone seems inches away from crashing out so i shouldn’t read this right? what the he...

i'm currently on chapter 51 and i'm gonna say it's kind of disturbing and disappointing how everything turned out

!!SPOILER WARNING!! proceed info below with caution.

ok, so, the thing is that before ch.~40 it's been ambiguous because, on the one hand, the story was quite interesting and their backstories and dynamics(like, dynamics between all 3 of them) were quite good(there were some unpleasant nuances though but i'll mention them later) and it felt like it could develop into a some kind of a polyamorous relationship or at least an interesting story with so-called love "triangle" but uhm.....on the other hand, there WERE some details that kept bothering me. firstly, the beginning felt a bit rushed and honestly they could make it better by adding just a BIT more of causal scenes......but maybe i'm just spoiled with all of the slowburn i've been reading lately, so idk.
secondly, and more importantly: most of the sex scenes (if not all) were pictured in a way that made it seem like beta didn't enjoy it AT ALL. because NEVER ONCE did he say that "it feels good" or smth like that, he only kept telling "wait", "stop", "it hurts" etc to both of MLs and they were like "just bear with me" and that's all. and, well, you could say that i'm just expecting too much and this kind of thing happens a lot in this genre but.....no. if we're excluding stories, which aren't redflag-loveHATE-problematic-gangster or whatever--kind of stuff, then there definitely ARE plenty of stories, which show that BOTH parties enjoy the process. even if there ARE moments like "oh, wait, slow down", it's just SOME of them, not the ENTIRE sex-scene being that exact moment with bottom screaming "stop"/"wait" repeatedly only to be IGNORED by the top(s).
but...okay, actually, i could justify this sh1t with a theory that beta-MC actually doesn't like sex at all but he's using it as a way to temporarily get physically close to someone to relieve his pain&loneliness (because there was a moment where they said smth like that), and so he is not afraid of pain if it means that he can feel a bit less lonely for a while...? and all those scenes were meant to show all that to readers. maybe.
...but here is a third thing. MC sometimes seems kind of immature and it can get on your nerves. and if it doesn't, then the alpha ML will still get on your nerves because his behavior towards MC is disrespectful. even though he tries to seem nice, he constantly hurts MC with his words and actions. and, uh, ok, at first it all could be justified by saying that "he misinterpreted MC's personality + was unaware of MC's feelings towards him, and so he UNINTENTIONALLY hurt MC, but it's not entirely his fault bc from his perspective it all seemed logical", but the thing is.....he does that sh1t repeatedly and TOO MANY times. moreover, if some stuff COULD be brushed off as "he didn't know but he didn't mean to harm MC + he still had lingering feelings towards his hyung", some stuff can't be justified with that.
...and i would really like to say that "that's all" but....the thing is....it got worse after ch.~40. MUCH worse, no less.

gonna leave 2 comments because i'm not sure if it will all fit in 1 (idk if there's any limit here)
so, yeah, here we go with part two of my ranting (also i'm so SORRY for yapping, it's just that you asked and i felt an urge to share my disappointment with anyone)
[once again, !!SPOILER WARNING!!, though i'm trying not to reveal all of the details + TW: r*pe]

when i say "things get much worse after that ch." i really DO mean it. because. one of the MLs drugged our MC just to get in his pants. and even though MC seemed quite CONSCIOUS(?) for a drugged person and even gave his(??) consent(???? ik it's a crazy thing to say about drugged person, but don't ask me, ask the AUTHOR who portrayed it all in a way that made it look like MC was "just aroused, but with a pretty clear mind"), it's still a really SH1TTY thing to do. it's horrible, disrespectful, and it was really uncalled for because i'm sure that the guy could just talk his way out to get MC sleep with him, and MC would agree. just use words,not drugs, gosh......
moreover, it felt out of place(this manhwa is not some gangster-type thing, c'mon....) and out of character because the ML who did this sh1t to MC was a really nice person to MC before that incident like. yeah, he wasn't without flaws, but he was pretty much green flag. and then he went from being "a bit traumatized greenflag" to being a redflag.
............AND THEN MC was r*ped by the other ML, who went from being "a bit annoying and sometimes blunt enough to be called an asshole but bearable" character to.......100% asshole and a r*pist. he r*ped MC while the last one was unconscious, then he continued that sh1t after MC had come to his senses (and asked to stop), also he didn't let MC go home.
.......something like that.

Marinate it longer we're not really in the best place and ask again later