You are like the only person with sense here. I would've also liked it if the seme just had a complicated relationship with giving pain and had internal guilt but eventually became comfortable with being a sadistic dom without any guilt and learning about how healthy bdsm is consensual to its core.
Unrealated but bl manhwa readers always have shown favoritism to semes no matter if they are red flags or green flags, and have this weird treatment of ukes who get victim blamed and slut shamed if they don't fit in the mold of the uke they want him to be.
This kind of stuff right here shows that the author isn't part of the community and has only researched it a bit. They can't think of a sub masch as anything but self-hating and a Dom sadist as being cruel and uncaring. While there are people out there (mostly men) who pretend to be a Dom just to legit hurt someone and don't give aftercare, they don't get repeat playdates and it gets around the community and they stop get playdates at all. I am a very strong and forceful person in my day to day life and if you asked anyone they would say I'm the dominant partner in my relationship. I'm the one who works and makes all the money, he has a set amount he gets every paycheck because we have a budget. He cooks, cleans and waits on me. I live like a 50's sit com dad, right up until we go into the bedroom, or he drags me there by the hair. He only get's off on giving me pain because I get off on it, if I didn't like it, he wouldn't like to do that to me. He needs me to tell him it hurts and to do it more because I want it. He needs my enthusiastic participation or he doesn't like it, nothing kills his boner quicker then me being hurt in a bad way. Controlled pain = lovely, uncontrolled pain = awful. Right now I have residual pain from our last play and it makes me happy because it makes me think of him and what we did. When I faceplanted on the pavement a couple of weeks ago and had pain for a while because of that, it didn't make me happy or feel good. If he were to slap my ass when I was just going about my day, doing things I would get pissed. He never raises a hand to me outside of play. He's gentle, sweet and very nonconfrontational in our day to day. I'm not some sad self-hating person, in fact I tend to have some narcissistic tendencies and think I better than other people. I have a tightly controlled, regimented and orderly life and that's why I give over all control to him when we play. It's a way for me to relax, to not have to worry about anything but doing what he tells me to, it's very liberating for me.
idk why everyone is acting like the seme is some golden greenflag angel. uke was honest about his desires, he was genuinely turned on by getting hit. seme is the one who lied and pretended he liked it, bc of his shitty nice-guy white-knight savior complex. and then he has the fuckin chutzpah to act like consensually engaging in bdsm (that he researched!!) makes him a piece of shit. it's okay that he feels resistance to hitting someone at first, author could've turned it into a sweet story about how he is conflicted about enjoying it so he has to work thru the cognitive dissonance... but instead we got slut-shaming and this weird psychological hostage situation.
seriously, fuck this seme and the horse he rode in on.