You know this story aligned with the hashtag of hurt/comfort — some people will drop this because yeah the way the characters think are not considered green flag to some. To me this don't feel like romance at all, it's more like self perseverance, self-sabotage, and the way you heal from things — you know the characters just want to be free — to experience freedom. I like flawed characters because it feels realistic, i can form any judgement toward them and still understand what their coming from. Honestly, I'm confused about many things and this story are part of it because you know i gain knowledge about something but i can't articulate it — i cant put it into words. I can't grasp what's the meaning of it, i would like to know some other opinions about this story, maybe i can finally know what's going with it.
I considered Meng Hao as good written, actually he's not dense, the way he act is normal. You can't just kiss someone who don't even know you had feelings from them because they would also feel confuse too. I understand his thoughts about it, anyway let's talk about how he's treated like shit by Weiyu. Weiyu should not expect from him too much because they are not close enough yet to open up to each other. After that scene of Weiyu realizing meng hao is just hanging out with him due to pressure of his family is also valid because you should be friends with someone without any alter motives. Though, Meng Hao did really want to be friends with him not just because of his family but he didn’t discuss it with Weiyu. Weiyu lashed out to Meng Hao instead of communicating, he knows meng hao has reasons but he didn’t acknowledge it, he was busy my his own feelings. They both misunderstood each other because of their different perspectives; both are fault because they still didn't communicate with each other — one is stuck with misunderstanding — one is also stuck of feeling lost because why does he suddenly got screamed at. Menghao mindset inspires me so much in THE EARLY CHAPTERS. He's selfish, you feel sad that weiyu is drifting away but aren't you the one who wants that? Did you know meng hao the way you cope is not it, you can never get back with someone because you cant stop thinking about him event though you slept with other guys. Its not about sex, it's about fighting for your love, but you are a coward. Though his friends really failed him for not acknowledging him in the first years because that cunzhi boy just said he noticed that meng hao could really like a boy but didn't push it. — he failed them too by acting distant
Weiyu, interesting character — selfish, avoidant attachment, narcissistic. He is selfish for thinking only himself when he got into fight with meng hao, he just don't give a fuck with other feelings at all. Avoidant attachment, building a invisible line between menghao and him because that's his coping mechanism, he don't want other to know he's hurting which is why he would overcome with pretending nothing conflict happened between them. Narcissistic, he can't just ditch a girl just because he want to, he needs to put an effort to break the bond with them because why did you enter a relationship with her when in fact you just did it for your own satisfaction of feeling normal. He had a feelings for menghao and he would hide it by using a girl — that's not it, he's piece of shit. Poor girl getting caught up with him, with them. He's the opposite of tanxiao but also they are similar in a certain situation. I mentioned that once you grew up in a bad environment, you will adapt it and that's what shaped weiyu the way he is now. He didn’t have a proper childhood, his parents were abusive verbally and neglectant. I like how tanxiao clocked him with saying "dont lump me in the same category as an indecisive greedy like you." Speaking of he's similar with tanxiao, both want to break free from their family — long for a freedom. Includes "you don't want to disturb them, yet you want to be heard" perfect example of weiyu having a trait of avoidant. BUT BUT im lookinh forward to his development because he still had sense of likeness in him HAHAHA the like of being problematic just kidding, i know people can change and i hope will then apologize to people he did wrong, esp. Tanxiao I'm half way and he did has some progress even though it's subtle. Sometimes parents are not the one to blame for one's actions but yourself too because growing up you will also learn what's wrong and right except to others whose situation are different.
im talking to much because i want to keep my mind preoccupied with other things rather thinking about exam results... im scared damn and JUST LIKE DOKJA i read to escape reality....ohh wait i remember weiyu is fat in his middle school days due to his parents divorcing and splitting the food making weiyu feel bad so he would eat both — that's abuse, they literally let him have eating disorder and unhealthy habits. Not saying that fat is bad okay? But we should be careful in our body because health issues may occur. In the end he did mature, he changed and I'm happy that he's not chasing meng hao because yk if you can't fight for your relationship, then what will it lead to? Just a big animosity towards each other.
I want to speak about when someone becomes an adult, people around you will think that you will be doing adult stuff from now on, that intrigued me because i feel like what if a person is still a child, they can gain knowledge about sex education from their early stage of life — to break the stigma around sexual life because yk these kids are very curious about that certain thing, if they would done it without any knowledge — isn't issues will arise? I dont understand how the sex education is treated as a bad way but in fact it can help very much. That is the taboo that must be studied, people lacks knowledge about it because the society made it outrageous to study; deem as a harmful effects towards children and teenager. If only the society wouldn't restrain the the children from learning there wouldn't be any issues circling around — the parents are the source for this but their parents also a children in the past that didn't receive enough knowledge which is why the cycle repeats.
Yikes the parents here are piece of shits, they only think of themselves.
In the half way of the series, the romance is pretty much showing up and I'm not mad about their break-up. Weiyu wanted to never back down on challenges and wanting to fight for their love but Meng Hao is the opposite. His viewpoint is depended on the others because he's scared to be find out since people are really judgemental towards queer people. Plus the situation with that blonde boy (i forgot his name) that's so terrible, he doesn't deserve that and neither others. I like their break-up scene because to me if you are still not ready, then you should not force it. Meng Hao is dealing with his issues while Weiyu is having a hard time to understand meng hao because he doesn't communicate. It's good that they break-up because they need to fix their own issues first, if they are really meant to be then time will make it true. Not everything can be a happy ending — to me you can't form romantic relationship if you still have struggling mentally because both of you will just exhaust one another. I understand the fear of Meng Hao just like Weiyu back then, he also deal with it by avoiding. The problem with them is communication, understanding, and deeply influenced by people which they feel afraid to come out because those people shows just how much a queer people is treated differently.
I have so much to say to other characters but im tired to think because my exam results are consuming my thoughts. Idk im yapping so much, or maybe venting
I like this kind of story, problems stacking up with one another. the characters open so many topics that i would like to form opinion for. Wait tbh i made this comment via notes and rn i just saw chapter 66 and what's that? What's with the time skip lol now im angry because i dont like where this story is going. PUTTING AN OLD MAN IS SO RANDOM? Yikes i thought it's going well but GIRL, OLD MAN AND YOUNG BOY TYPE SHIT TROUPE REALLY? WHAT THE FUCK. HELL NAH IM SO CONFUSED. Meng hao is dealing with crisis identity but what's with the time skip really, why did the author even include the old ones? It feels off, but i think i kinds grasp what the author intended — grooming tbh if you reallh love someone you should fight for them and be brave, because once you're too late then you will think, i could have grab the chance back then but i didn't. NOW LETS GO BACK TO MENG HAO TRAUMA ABOUT TOUCHING. It is not talked about enough. It feels rushed the way its explain.
IN THE END BOTH OF THEM STILL LOVE EACH OTHER BUT DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE ANYMORE, HONESTLY THEY ARE JUST BEING DIFFICULT TO EACH OTHER. A SIMPLE COMMUNICATION WILL DO, A CLOSURE MAYBE BUT THE HELL?? I'M ENRAGED, they don't deserve each other but im gonna be honest I'm weiyu side. I understand menghao crisis but he don't really want to change. Whats done is done, their messy relationship is going on for about years which is why it become toxic now. I guess this is a spin off that given couple buzz cut boy and violinist. Lol im talking shits but i cant stop reading it, i want to feel hurt and the monologue hits hard yk. just kidding I'm done witv this (i skipped the chapters) i cant keep up with the shit anymore okay. Thank you translator
Wow gurl damn I appreciate your writing
Lmao now that im okay i realize im insane for writing this shit
They fucking ended up together and even married in the side chapter I want to thank the author for giving us a good ending.
Tanxiao is a great character, the first time she appeared, it hooked my attention towards her. I would say that she's emotional intelligent despite what her experiencing from her mother, that didn't stop her to be evil. That's why it amaze me because most of the time people actions are rooted to what their family treated them — if your environment is bad, basically people is just bad, then you will adapt it because you had no idea what's right thing to do. To you, bad actions are the right thing to do, i remembered a monologue "I'm sorry but this is always lead backs to what my family show and made me feel." However, tanxiao is different from that, don't start with me saying that "oh but what about her treatment to others" it's her defense mechanism, you're a stranger to her, it takes a lot of time to make people feel warmth with you. That one classmate of her is rude, why did she have to shout? Similar with Weiyu towards he think of her — I hate someone who judge people easily. Just look at how she manage her situation between Weiyu and Meng hao, she thinks of them kindly, she respect them but how come people cannot do the same with her? I dont care if im just bluffing but tanxiao is my favorite because the way she thinks are enough to bring me tears, i feel like we are the same but still shows differences. I feel like she gets me and that brings me comfort, i dont know if I'm saying this because i felt too emotional right now due to my entrance exam results but maybe that's also the reason HAHAHA. Gosh Tanxiao is so tragic i love her so much and she deserves better...