Every time I finish one of those stories (past seme- uke)I find myself pacing around the house, just muttering, “Oh God… so disgusting. That was so disgusting. The seme was disgusting…” over and over like a curse. I can’t help it. It clings to me. The way he treated the uke, the lies, the betrayal, the cowardice—it’s just ugh, absolutely revolting. I feel like I need to wash my brain out with bleach and scream into the void. It’s not even heartbreak anymore, it’s visceral repulsion.
How do these characters live with themselves? How do they move on like nothing happened? Like they didn’t destroy someone and walk away whistling?
Disgusting. That’s all there is to it. Just. Disgusting.
Every time I finish one of those stories (past seme- uke)I find myself pacing around the house, just muttering, “Oh God… so disgusting. That was so disgusting. The seme was disgusting…” over and over like a curse. I can’t help it. It clings to me. The way he treated the uke, the lies, the betrayal, the cowardice—it’s just ugh, absolutely revolting. I feel like I need to wash my brain out with bleach and scream into the void. It’s not even heartbreak anymore, it’s visceral repulsion.
How do these characters live with themselves? How do they move on like nothing happened? Like they didn’t destroy someone and walk away whistling?
Disgusting. That’s all there is to it. Just. Disgusting.