I would like to hear you out on the shallow understanding of bdsm in this manwha ? I agree that there is something wrong with the dom
From using a piercing gun without sanitizing on his nipples to introducing extreme public or otherwise play, if I remember correctly, without any prior consent or at least, a warning. The BDSM play in this manhwa can get extreme, so good representation would mean the dom has prior consent from the sub and a conversation with all the 'dos ', 'donts' and 'maybes'. The sub also has a say in what he expects from the dom, and the dom has their boundaries, too. Now, in this manhwa, the dom is kinda unhinged so he's down to whatever (apart from sharing his sub), but you'd still need to communicate what you're okay with, capable of, and want, it goes both ways in S/M, Sub/Dom dynamics.
Don't get me started on the scene (on the desk) where the dom got jealous and wanted the sub to basically quit his job, and you could even see the sub wasn't blushing or liking whatever was happening, he was genuinely frightened. I think at that point, the boundary of play is crossed, it's not BDSM anymore, it's straight up abuse and intimidation. There was no prior consent from the sub that the sub/dom dynamic should be 24/7, and transcend sexual activities (so total submission - including life style and life decisions). This is an extreme form of submission and has to be very, very thoroughly planned, consented to, etc.
Also, emotional after care is non existent in this manhwa
I'd like to know, what is it you find wrong with the dom? Cause there's a lot lol, I'm curious to read your perspective
Wow so basically the author straights up calls the dom’s abuses “plays” . Also, I just have a feeling that he is not really into bdsm and more into the control or something because of his past that I don’t think is clear yet. He is not stable clearing tho
Also I’m not so sure how BDSM is supposed to work but your explanation made it a more understandable of its rules , thank you :D
Yeah, you're right. His possessiveness definetly oversteps the role of a Dom in a bdsm dynamic and it's clear he projects some unresolved issues onto his sub. Hence why it's so important to be in a mentally healthy space when practicing bdsm, or at least, be open about not doing okay and setting boundaries so things don't get... Like they do in this manhwa. It had so much potential at the beginning,.too. oh well
BDSM in general, as any sexual activity or practice, is based on consent from all parties involved. Every play, every kink, it has to be spoken about, some people even write lists with all the dos, donts and maybes, a safe word has to be set in place, and everyone has to talk about their expectations, possible triggers, and boundaries. Of course, it's not sexy and can be a rather lengthy process so many authors leave this out, for the sake of plot advancement, fluidity of story telling, I get it. But a brief - hey, is this okay? Or - I'm about to do XYZ, tell me if that's fine with you, these things can go a long way in presenting bdsm not as this deprived, chaotic practice of spamming random stuff for shock and coomer value, but as a genuine system with its rules set in place to create a safe, yet thrilling, hot environment.
Btw, a lot of abusers and shitty people get into bdsm or pretend to like bdsm just to overstep boundaries and abuse. I had a friend who was a sub and would self harm through shitty 'doms '.
Sadly, some authors take inspiration from that and maybe think that's just how bdsm goes - a dom does whatever he wants, and a sub has to take it. But in the real world, a truly good dom wouldn't feel turned on by doing something their sub hates. That's how sex between consenting parties work - they do things they all like, and get enjoyment from that.
It would be interesting to see a manga/manhwa with commentary on abusers instrumentalizing bdsm, but that's too complex for porn lol. Instead, we have unsafe and question practices shown as regular bdsm
What are your thoughts on “ basic guidebook to bdsm” ? I think that couple practiced it safely.
I'll read it and give you my opinion
I think you are being a bit too harsh on this manhwa. First, sex if a fluid thing, when you are at it in the flow of the moment you might want to try something that you won't necessarily discuss. The key is, to trust your Dom and for the Dom to know the limits of what the sub can tolerate/be into. In this case, lets not forget that the Sub is a mercenary, used to extreme violence and torture, he says it himself multiple times that he is into severe things, often even going as far as wishing the Dom would take it further.
Now I'm not arguing that this Dom does not have issues. He needs a therapist asap no doubt.
But to go as far as saying that this is a horrible representation of BDSM and plays are just abuse is a bit of a stretch. It's not the best out there, sure. But it's far, very very far, from being the worst.
Between the MCs there is play, there is love and there certainly is emotional aftercare???? On the other hand there is also miscommunication on both parts, and a get to know of your partner which is normal for any relationship BDSM or not.
Also these is not a contracted BDSM situation like 50 shades (which is atrocious), it's a relationship that organically evolves. The sub trusts the Dom fully, and the Dom is constantly worried about his sub and his limits. You can see that the Dom, despite being turned on by violence and power, loves his sub very much.
The Dom here is a greener flag than half of the most common male leads (Zhenya, Seungho, jjk, taeju, wtv....)
The bar is in hell, that's why this dom might seem 'green' (he's not lmao).
It's not the worst representation, but it's bad enough. The fact there's much worse doesn't make this any better. Also, as someone else pointed out somewhere, I don't remember anymore what platform, BDSM is an art form. It's a skill. It takes time, communication, and precision. Going with the flow and being fluid can happen as you really get to know each other. But the dom started out this way from day one basically.
Yeah, the sub is a mercenary and he's used to this, but does this make the dom's behavior alright? What if the sub wasn't a mercenary? I get what you mean, I agree to an extent with your points, but it still doesn't make this manhwa look any better. I've seen this trend in manhwa just missing the mark on bdsm representation.
I agree with you on bad rep for a lot of other mangas, but here. It ain't that deep, imo. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I don't think basic analysis is deep, but we shall agree to disagree
Sure. To each their own ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I agree with you he's more on " I want control. Your mine " since we see that top have been like that since he was a kid he wants control he doesn't care about the consequences the BDSM is just a disguise that he want control and yeah he's the worse but if we're to compering him with different manwha he's not the worse if I say so?? I'm referring to block tops and some dark flag top eh ╮(￣▽￣)╭ that just my opinion
You know what? This is absolutely sick. I was probably sleep deprived when I gave this a high score, but behind the facade of a shallow understanding of BDSM, the author sprinkled in a lot of unnecessary abuse that's not real bdsm play, and there's incredibly toxic codependency at play. It's not about bdsm anymore. The Dom has severe issues that go beyond that. The art style is beautiful and some aspects of the story are very intriguing and nice, but there are tons of issues as well. Sigh