My Personal Thoughts on the Novel ..... (spoiler spoiler and very very long) Honestly, I...

My Personal Thoughts on the Novel .....

(spoiler spoiler and very very long)

Honestly, I didn’t like the story at all… for several reasons.
.The most important reason is that

1) I deeply pitied the ML (main lead).


* He went through extreme trauma as a child. He and his friend (the SML) were test subjects, but he endured far worse.


* His family exploited him and showed no concern for his feelings.

*The only thing keeping him alive was the memory of meeting the MC ten years ago and the hope of seeing him again. But when that finally happened?
The MC didn’t remember him at all and only recalled the SML saving him — even though it was the ML who actually saved his life.


&The ML sacrificed everything — his energy, his life, ( and they both imprinting) . ML did it, certain that he was going to die. It was his last hope to save MC and let him live.
He was the one who gave him , precious necklace meant to be given only to a life partner.


*After surviving, he had to take on a new identity and When he met the MC again (now a doctor), he was suffering from an unstable condition caused by a one-sided imprinting.
He was in constant pain and close to breaking down.


He was genuinely excited to meet the only person he ever loved.
But the MC had no memory of him — and even worse, he was constantly flirting with the SML...


The ML had remained faithful all those years — he never even dated anyone else.
And now, the person he longed for was showing affection to someone else right in front of him.


*The only person the ML trusted was the SML, and now that friend had become his rival. It was hellish.


He never told anyone about what happened. He was afraid that if he got close to the MC, it might put him in danger. So he stayed away, silently suffering..


I honestly don’t know how he survived emotionally.

............................

2) I didn't like the MC's personality :


*After being saved, he lived a relatively normal, social life. He had dated people before.
Yet he acted naïve, like he was new to these things.

He continued to flirt with SML under the pretext that he was his lifesaver and it was only natural for him to like him.
Even after officially dating ML,
There was a lot of Physical contact, cause he's feeling guilty and it is okay, he's his teacher.


Even in the side stories, the ML was constantly hurt.
Another person (a patient also treated by the MC) began to show interest in the ML, and the MC didn’t even notice...
Even when the ML told him , he just brushed it off, thinking the ML’s jealousy was immature.
He kept caring about that other person, thinking they might be traumatized — completely ignoring the ML’s obvious distress and insecurity.


The ML had to endure all of this silently because he promised not to interfere with the MC's work.
.........................

3) I didn’t like the SmL , (good person but he was just… too clingy).


What also frustrated me The story wasn't presented as a love triangle, nor was there even a third party,(Keywords) which I found very strange.
How could it not be? For more than half of the story, you don't know who the ML is?
Even in the second part of the novel, there are many scenes between SmL and Dr,

and the ML appears less often, There is even more than one chapter explaining his pov from his first meeting with the dr ...
so you wonder if he's really the ML?


The Dr also thought about dating him more than once. He thinks he's his savior, a kind and handsome person, and comfortable to be with. But he backs out every time. .....


Eventually, he comes to the conclusion that he's just comfortable with him and doesn't think of him as a lover


Only later, when he thought about the ML, did his heart race and he fells safer with him more .
But that took far too long ......


But I don’t blame the SmL — the MC led him on constantly....
To the point that when the SmL found out about the MC and ML’s relationship, he was deeply hurt...


<spoiler>(he went to them at night and found them together; the Dr was asleep but overheard the conversation),
Sml he felt betrayed and very angry.
He said, "I thought Dr liked me."


The funny thing is that the Dr was just… confused.
Like, "Why would the SmL think I liked him? What did I do to give that impression?"


Seriously?! There’s a limit to how oblivious one can be.
We’re told that the MC is a capable and intelligent person — not a clueless fool.


He clearly knew the SmL had feelings for him and still treated him in a way that encouraged those feelings.


I was frustrated through the whole story:

To be honest, I started skimming many parts just to get through it.
I hated how the MC was portrayed — easily the worst character for me.


The ML was only there to be jealous all the time, and the MC would just say it’s cute or childish.
Like: “Oh, he’s just inexperienced. Maybe it’s because it’s his first relationship.”

And is it necessary that every person who appears must like the dr and the ML must be jealous ?

Jealousy is fine sometimes, but when it’s constant from beginning to end — mixed with feelings of inferiority and fear — it’s exhausting.


One heartbreaking moment made me hate the story even more:

When they were officially dating, and because of the Dr's conversation with the center commander, he began to remember the past and the little person he was with (there's a 5-year difference between them).
He began to feel suffocated and shocked.
The ML tried to calm him down, but he was dreaming and screaming the SML's name. ...

(misunderstanding) but was so painful. .....
His heart was aching .....
He didn't know what to do. ....
He called SmL to come because Dr. was asking for him.
The SmL sarcastically told him it was pathtic that he couldn't do such a simple thing as calm him down, and several other words....
The ML was so embarrassed.
He didn't want to call him, but he was afraid for Dr. He thought he was the most important thing, not his feelings, so he left......


Even when he came back, he heard Dr thanking SML and telling him that he was better thanks to him.....
He felt there was no point in his presence, so he left again.
making the ML feel completely worthless.

when Dr. woke up, he was looking for ml. ...

But he found SmL lying on his knees...
He thanked him profusely and apologized.
He even let him sleep while he stroked his hair, justifying it by saying that he felt pity and guilt towards him .....


So the SmL confessed his feelings,
the Dr. apologized and sadly gave him the necklace, but told him that it wasn't his and that it belonged to ML...


So he went to look for ML and... He wonders why the ML's face was so strange and heartbroken.. back then ..
After that

The MC was kidnapped.
The ML searched for him like a madman
and the team goes out to rescue him.


Use another esper from the team to threaten the dr to get a project ..
Unfortunately, that esper was beaten badly ..

The MC stayed beside him, crying and treating his wounds, hoping the ML would come rescue them.

Eventually, they were saved, and the ML stayed behind to fight alone while the others were taken to safety.


Continued frustration:

The SmL jokes and says to the Dr ...
"Can't you have both of us? I'll accept to be the second."
The DR refuses, feeling guilty,
The SmL tells him that he doesn't want him to stop being his teacher.

The DR tells him that's for sure, but he jokes, "But you can't have an affair with a teacher." They continue laughing.....

There was more than one joke about cheating...

Continuing to joke like this is annoying.
I don't know, is this normal?
No, actually.
Is it normal for physical contact to continue like this?

Anyway ,He also finally found that the child from 10 years ago is the ML after the SmL tells him so.

The Dr thanks him and tells him he's the coolest man he's ever known.

Then he quickly goes to meet the ML

When they meet, the ML confesses everything.

The MC replies that even though they met in a different time and place, he still fell in love with the same little boy all over again.
Mmmm Really?

And some events.... then the ending....

There are side stories...

So Let’s be honest — the ML loved him far more than he love the ml back
And as they say, the one who loves more always loses more

Summary & Final Impression (from my perspective):

This story is emotionally draining and deeply unfair to the ML, who gave everything....

The MC was portrayed inconsistently, naive .....


The SmL was more present than needed, and the “triangle” wasn’t properly established until very late..
even the long side story was about him and Dr (the author made him the doctor's bodyguard chosen by the ML himself, as they were together for a week in the same house, while the ML was away), isn't that redicous ?

I just didn't understand what the author wanted !

There was too much unbalanced affection, lack of emotional payoff,

I don’t think I’ll continue with the manhwa.