Are people serious about thinking he's a bad father?

I would never tell a child if you don't do this or that I'm going to leave you. I'm the oldest so I always tell my little siblings no tv, toys, games, electronics, or deserts but never tell them I'm going to leave especially if I'm the only 1 they can count on as a loving parent. A child should never have to feel alone. What the father did was wrong. That child only has him and the thought of being alone had to be scary for him. Even if the other guy was there the child does not know him well enough. Sorry if I sound defensive towards the dad's character, I know how it feels to be alone even though my mother and step father were physically there just not emotionally.

It really seems like you're making the same judgement as the uke here and the connection between you two seems to be the past you base the opinion on. Personally, i think you're projecting in the same way he was, sure the child feels negative emotions towards what is happening, but that is the point in discipline. The thing is, there was never any chance of him actually leaving so i don't see what he did as wrong. Can i ask, what would you prefer he do? Smack his hand? That'd give the boy negative feelings as well. Put him in the corner? Do you see my point? Regardless of the discipline method the individual is still left with negative emotions, namely a sense of betrayal. You think kids don't feel alone when they're spanked? Or put in the corner? For a brief period the child will feel alone, in other words betrayed, regardless of what method you use. Saying you'll leave spares them physical pain from a spank and building irritation from having to stand in place for several minutes. It's a quick and, in my opinion, less painful method.

If you read my comment I listed the ways I disciplined my younger siblings and none of what I listed suggests that children be punished physically. The father did do wrong by saying he would leave the child even though that's the only person that child shares a close emotional bond with. He child only knew the uke for a limited amount of time. Your not understanding the psychological damage that feeling has on the child that even effects to his or her adult life. Feeling pain, lonely and scared vs feeling sad that his or her things got taken away is not the same. You can clearly see how frightened the child was because he only has his father. We don't even know where his mother is? We each have our own opinions on how we would raise kids. Based on the circumstances spanking can be good or bad so I'm not judging you but it can have adverse effects that scars the child for life.

I didn't just mention physical abuse, i also mentioned the sense of betrayal felt regardless of the method used. Children often tell their parents that they hate them during theses times, i believe they actually mean it in those moments. I'm saying that all methods are equally impactful to children in those moments. You taking things away from them made them hate you briefly which would in extention make them not want you in that same instant. It's the same loneliness, they feel like you've betrayed them and that you're no longer "in their corner". Children don't feel as complex feelings as adults, they feel strong ones. This is where i think you're projecting.

As long as it's not emotionally or physically scarring we grow up getting over it. Some people don't deserve to be parents. Whether its the surounding or living environment children are more perceptive to everything leaving them open to anything because they lack the knowledge and experiences. Hate is a strong emotion, I highly doubt children know the consequences that emotion can have on them as wells as others. Not knowing how cruel the world can be are the times I miss the most

Well that is the thing though, isn't it? "As long as it isn't emotionally or physically scarring", there is a difference between what happened to you and the child in this manga. You were neglected, you were scarred because you were neglected, not disciplined. The boy was disciplined. His father has always been there for him giving him support. He felt his father's love as reassurance after the negative experience, you didn't. Two separate things, but you relate on a certain level and it makes you protective.

you have it all wrong, my childhood is a pandoras box that even I am not allowed to open. Its closed off with locks apon locks apon locks. You cannot fully analyz someone's life with just a few words but I'm glad your trying to understand my point of view as I am yours ╮(￣▽￣)╭

I mean... I don't like what the father did. I don't agree with it. But I can understand the idea of "If you don't blah blah blah Then I will Blah Blah BLah" its an efficient way to instil good behaviour. I guess I just think that in situation that are of bigger importance that kind of disciplinary threat works. But in this case, the issue was: The kid didn't want tomatoes. The solution: The father threatened to abandon the kid. As someone living in Japan, the land of harsh punishments and strict disciplinary parents, I think the reaction was too much. A simple "no tomatoes = no ice cream" Would have worked just as fine. I have a bit of a bias though. As a kid I was always pretty obedient so I don't actually have any memories of that kind of punishment. The only time I remember is when I got caught drinking then self harming in the same day and my mom threatened to send me back to this school i used to go too. The school isn't like a boarding school or anything. It was just super toxic for me and caused several panic attacks. But yeah. In summary, the situation and the general behaviour of the child should dictate the scale one goes to for discipline. ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

I totally agree thats what I also said. I had a panic attack before I couldn't think or breath 1 of the worst feelings I've ever had. I also changed schools which was a lot healthier

Ah well lot of things depend on how your child is , every child is different the way they react to thing are different too some are very sensitive towards thing some don't give it much thoughts and some get scared and and obey what parents said and after that everything got better,in child cases we can relate very little from children as when we were children not much because it can be possible that they are different from us and what things work on them might be different from them too . parents handle their children what works for their children as nlit can also not be said for all parents they can make mistakes too .but in the end what matter the most is how much you love your child and how much you can atone for that mistake.now in this cases what he did with his child was a disciplinary tactic that work for his child .he did knew his child don't eat tomoto he asked him first to eat it and also yesterday the day too when they were eating. But in the end the thing work out for them here,the child thought was more like if I will eat tomato my daddy will come back and it will be all good ,the afraidNess of abondenship would have worked if his father would not have came back but that was not the case because his father loved him and it was just an act. My mother used to black mail all the time for things most of the parents do accordingly to what work for their children .chances for the child to feel distrust are in everywhere tbh .even if the parents are alert enough.but the thing in the end is it should be parents in the end who know how to treat their child,in his act he did in the end gave his child the trust that daddy will be together and he is not going anywhere as we can see he came back. a child can not feel distrust here .

He did threaten no ice cream, the boy said no. Threatening to leave was his last resort.

I don't know your past other than that your "parents weren't there for you", i'm going off of what you told me and of course i can't go into detail about it. If it sounded like i was marginalizing the pain you experienced, then that is just how you took what i said, it isn't what i was intending. What i was trying to point out is that you had it worse than the boy, way worse from how you describe it, and i think this effects how you view punishment on a scale. Or rather that you don't view punishment as punishment so much as abuse.

I agree with this as well, "parents use the disciplinary method they know works best on their child" and "he knew the boy would eat the tomatoes while he was gone he had tried other methods such as just asking him to eat them, threatening to not give him ice cream and finally deciding to threaten to leave." are all points i've been trying to make. There were no bad intentions behind the act and he dotes on the boy enough that the child wouldn't have the jaded outlook on life that blu has that would make him think he'll never see his father again. His thoughts were, as you said, "if i eat these tomatoes he'll come back", which is how the father knew it would be. Another thing, he never said he was just going to leave him, he said if he doesn't eat the tomatoes he will. This is important wording being skipped over as it show the father planting the idea of "if i eat the tomatoes" in his son's mind. It was all according to plan.

No hard feelings towards you its all good I think the word punishment can be interpreted in more ways than 1 depending on where your from. Punishment in the U.S has a different meaning than from a different country where Its viewed as to cause harm. My younger sibs had a much happier childhood because as our parents got older they learned better parenting. Now I'm going to read some yaoi to heal, all this discussion on punishment makes my stomach hurt unless it's the kind related to 50 shades of gray(▰˘◡˘▰)...

**Grey

Okay, have fun. (⌒▽⌒)

ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

If you read it again you'll see that he said no tomatoes = no this and that till he got to no ice cream and the kid threw a tantrum /screamed so saying i won't come back till u eat your tomatoes was the last resort. Also he said i won't come back not i'll go home and leave you here.