For me, that's a really difficult request to fill, especially in the unrealistic world of BL/yaoi manga. I'm sure there's probably something out there but I haven't found any that checks all of your boxes yet.
However, I read the "Something Like ..." 12 vol. series by Jay Bell and they were pretty good and also audio books that are even better. I hope this helps.
Also, please share anything that you may come across in return.
Smells like Green Spirit
Lost in the Cloud
December Rain
Until I Meet my Husband
Momentum
A home far away
Koimonogatari
Boy meets maria
Our dreams at dusk
I think our son is gay
Run away with me girl
My lesbian experience with loneliness
It’s not that these type of stories don’t exist, they’re just not as popular !
someone reco me like really realistic amd serious queer read, idc if it has smut or not but something that a queer person SHOULD read especially as a gay person