Friends to lovers is not easy
Yes it is.
to each their own I suppose, since I actually really enjoy seeing the two characters gradually overstep outside of "friends" and into "love", and as you said: them being scared to ruin a deep friendship. I don't really see it as easy as, yes, they know each others habits which makes both unsure how to interpret the others kind actions.
I think we are opposites because I actually dislike coworker to lovers and especially enemies to lovers!!! I think its because I often see a lot of fights in this trope (usually because at the start, they dislike/are nonchalant to each other).
I don't mind stories whenthey only know each other casually, but sometimes it's a bit hard for me to understand how they fall for each other. ik in other countries it might be different, but I can never imagine falling for someone before really being their friend! ofc each to their own, I enjoyed your rant.
I like it better when they fall for each other and become friends at the same time, you know? I think you can totally build a friendship while falling in love, and when I said it's easy, I meant writing a friends-to-lovers story is, imo, way easier. Sure, there are challenges going from friends to lovers, but I still think it's simpler to write about because they already have a bond, and they just have to cross a line.
But I just like it better when there's no previous dynamic, and we actually get to see how two strangers build that relationship, rather than two people who know each other and now, like you said, have to figure out each other's actions.
that’s a rlly cool take and i think it just shows how ppl view relationships differently
personally i think friends to lovers is harder than any other pipeline, just because i feel that there’s more to lose if the relationship doesn’t work out. if u try something with a coworkers and things don’t work out, you’re not really losing a relationship that has years of shared memories and love? like u choose who you want to be friends with but u don’t choose your coworkers — making the loss of the relationship sadder bc the relationship wasn’t developed due to forced proximity
idk just my thoughts but again to each their own!! just wanted to share my thoughts
When I say its easier I just mean writing it, of course there is a risk, Im not denying that but its easier to buy a ready made cake or even ready made ingredients to bake the cake, but its harder to bake a cake Nara Smith Style (I really hope you know who that is lol)
If I wrote - they were best friends for 15 yeare and they fell in love - we wouldn't think twice or the how and why, we simply look at the time frame and relationship dynamics and say oh yeah makes sense
But if
I wrote they knew each other for a week and fell in love - people would probably question this more
This is why I don't believe the amount of time you share with someone is relevant. My brother dated his ex girlfriend for 6 years, broke up and 6 months later my brother met someone else, he is now married to with, they have a daughter with a baby on the way.
Sorry I went a bit off topic there. I know its a well loved trope, its such a common trope we cant escape it.
All the things you said about friends to lovers trope are interesting. I think I get what you mean. Perhaps it’s easier to write this sort of trope than strangers to lovers’, writing-wise. But personally, i think it really depends and will always depend on the writers themselves and their skills to deliver these sorts of stories. Ive read gazillion fanfics of my fave ships and honestly, I find friends/childhood friends to lovers one of the most superior tropes. I enjoy it more and I think it could also be difficult to write bc you can insert many dramas and it’s prone to a lot of misunderstandings. Whereas if you started out as two strangers, it’s more on witnessing the blossoming romance, getting to know each other stuff. If you’re a writer and you already planned out the dynamic you wanna establish for your pairing, I think it wont be that difficult. But then again, this is just only my opinion and I truly respect and understand yours. At the end of the day it’s just a matter of personal preference.
yeah i totally get what u mean!!! LOL nara smith
i agree that time can be super irrelevant in the different contexts and i love to see how relationships and dyamics form so quickly and in different situations!!!
i’m also definitely not a ride or die love friends to lovers fan but when it done right it can be super interesting to see how relationship boundaries and dynamics change as they grow into their new relationship
but yes i love having convos like this! this was awesome thanks for sharing ur thoughts
Yeah, I enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts too. Ive definitely had my fair share of friends to lovers stories Ive enjoyed, but definitely not a ride or die for this trope.
I think I finally get why the "friends to lovers" trope doesn’t click with me. Sure, it’s popular and lots of people love it, and I’ve even come across a few good examples that I enjoyed. But overall, it just doesn’t excite me.
The main reason is that it feels too easy. The characters already know each other, already have a bond, so the story skips the fun of building a relationship from scratch. Most of the drama comes from them being scared to mess up the friendship, which is a bit overused.
On the flip side, I find it way more interesting when two strangers or people who only know each other casually, like coworkers or neighbors, end up falling in love. That kind of relationship has to be built piece by piece, and the challenge makes it feel more rewarding.
I notice the same thing in love triangle stories. Usually, one love interest is someone the main character already knows, while the other is new. Readers often lean toward the “safe” choice, the one with the history, just because it feels familiar. But for me, that’s exactly what makes the “newcomer romance” more exciting. It feels less predictable.