Maybe it's me, but I couldn't ignore my feelings

Unless I know such feelings just others, I wouldn't hold myself back. I do understand she suffered and is so traumatized she acts irrationally, which is very out of character, but as someone who is ultimately so different( I also have traumas but of course they differ and have different outcomes and consequences that did not left me like her) it's so difficult to see her deny her good feelings and embrace only the vengeful ones :(