woah girl this is longer than the paragraph my ex sent me
Yeah, shows that i care more ╮(￣▽￣)╭
mommah ur flirtin~~
Finally someone who gets it, just siding with yujun is such an empathy lacking shallow take, ok fine his crush/bf ghosted him
And then you look at jiho and he's a kid that never saw love and care from anyone in his life except this one guy, and he lives in a cage with powerful people as his parents that can and do control his life, he has literally nothing to keep him going and yet yujun's little depressive episode is what it took for people to side with him???? Just cause yujun isn't breaking down cause this is the only life he's known so he carries on he's suddenly the "evil twink"????
Ngl, I kinda feel bad for Jiho. Being forced to leave suddenly, having his number cut off and new phone changed and being under heavy surveillance by his dad for a while.
I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but I'm thinking he didn't want to contact Yujun because he didn't know what to say.
He can't say he was forced to leave because of his own pride, and he doesn't want Yujun to flip out like he always does.
He probs didn't want his dad to find out. What if he traces his call logs? Or if he purchased a burner phone? Even if he did purchase one, what was he supposed to say? My family is dysfunctional as f***, and I can't risk contacting you at least not while a gay scandal of me is ongoing? Would you overreact? Would I be dragging you into this? Would it be better if you just forget about me and be done with me? I don't want you to think I'm pathetic. Heck, I didn't even tell you about the situation with my mom, I don't want to ruin the image of me in your mind. You asked me to leave you a message if I ever have to leave and I guess I can't even do that now. I'm sorry
Heck I like you a lot and I miss you so much, but I can't reach out. I don't deserve to reach out. Would you still remember me? Hate me? Forget about me? I wished you still feel something for me, even if it's hatred. Please don't forget about me, like I can't forget about you.
And when he crashed out he was probs thinking along the lines of feeling depressed and missing the Heck out of yujun. He probs was feeling so upset and frustrated that he just wants to lose it all and go to a gay club because at least maybe he'll get numb to everything and forget his longing for a while
And when he finally have the guts to show up at the party it was provs because his dad finally chilled out a bit and he have a bit more freedom, as he's finally allowed to come back to Korea.
And when he did, he was just a coward hoping that his past love would still be there. To welcome him and say that everything is gonna be okay from then on, that they maybe hopefully could just continue. He missed Yujun's warmth, understanding, and love. But he also knows he doesn't deserve it anymore. Even if Yujun hates him, it's okay, because at least he still thinks of him and if he hates him, he has feelings for him.
*** not saying that I don't feel bad for Yujun and that he was just abandoned there, and he doesn't deserve it. But I guess I kinda empathise a lot with Jiho .
I'm the kinda person who ghost others when my minds overloaded and I get severely depressed and stressed. It's like I'm physically unable to contact others/be contacted without going into a full anxiety/panic attack- where I'd just cry and be unable to function for a while if i get a text. So my high-school friends that I reunited with means a Heck lot to me-- since I get to see them every other week now even when I ghosted them for like 5-6 ish years when I studied in the UK-- my friends were really nice about it since we were all in different countries in Uni though. They were more concerned than anything. That meant a lot to me, so I was wishing the same for Jiho- like I kinda get what he was expecting and worried about though the context is wildly different