about KDJ's hypocrisy in this chapter (non-novel readers beware!!)

just wanted to point out a few things about this chapter that I really liked despite my usual grievances with the webtoon adaptation. I actually think this was handled super well

mass production maker says he "felt fierce anger in the fable [kim dokja] was making at the world and constellations," following it up with a request to not hate the constellations too much, for they are beings who can't stand the loneliness. kim dokja then replies; "that doesn't mean they can trample on the lives of incarnations," before immediately seeking out his phone and doing the same thing he frowns on.

this is the primary source of his many peculiar (sometimes unexplained) idiosyncrasies; twsa. kim dokja is a constellation. he is, at his core, a being who requires others' stories to live, and tramples on the "incarnations" present in the story to thrive. yet, he finds constellations distasteful. he always looks down on them for their unethical consumption of suffering, but the reader isn't privy to the important foundation of this hatred until MUCH later on.

kdj is subconsciously aware that he's guilty of the very same thing he can't stand about the gourmet association. they offer him their unpleasant meals comprised of endless incarnations torment, and he declines in favour of pulling out his phone and reading about yjhs thousands of painful regressions. this is, of course, his ultimate sin. the driving force of his every action is to atone for committing the sin of escapism.

kim dokja hates the constellations of the star stream, but he hates himself most of all for kickstarting the very same tragedy he read ravenously. he views himself as an irredeemable monster undeserving of a morsel of affection having lived the way he did, watching others suffer to distract from his own shitty life.

this is why he overcompensates over and over by using that worthless life of his as an offering, a cruel attempt at seeking forgiveness from his companions. he expects their anger, but not their being upset. why would they ever shed tears over him, someone of no redeeming qualities? someone who constantly hides things from them, lies to them, plans without them – why would they understand a being like one of the constellations? he's someone who "can't stand the loneliness"– it makes him too embarrassed to willingly seek out their companionship, because he has no right to ask for it. its fatalism; he believes he already knows how things would end, how others would react, so the more dignified response is to give in and bear the guilt of his sin.

his perceived sin, of course, is not a crime. the constellations are despicable people, but orv spends too much time telling us that many of them are not criminals for what they do. it's not a sin to be defined by what you love. twsa defines kim dokja, thus making him "irredeemable" in his own eyes.

what you have to understand is this guy is an unreliable narrator you actually cannot take every statement about himself at face value. this idea of him being a horrible person is not factual, it's how kdj views "kim dokja the constellation (reader)". it's not a sin at all for wanting a story where you found love, happiness, comfort, and a will to live once more, to become your reality. a constellation (kim dokja) wants desperately to be loved and saved, and this longing for salvation gives meaning to the cyclical monotony of yjhs journey. by finding a salvation in someone elses hell, he's able to give this unbearable loss context. the story is complete by its reader where the character himself cannot give it worth.

this is just my really contrived attempt at explaining away some of the things that bothered me on my first read haha so I'm sorry for the wall of text