slowly starts clapping
amazing analysis and right on spot
Well said, however as smn who comes from similar background and ended up having similar relationships issues as Haesoo, I'd say that it's not 'saviour' that she saw in Mincheol, but just smn who cares for her, smn to be her family
When one is abused as a child, often they tend to feel like damaged goods, utterly unlovable and then when coming across smn that so passionately trying to convince you otherwise they feel as this is a miracle, they come across this one and only person who will cherish them
Actually, I think Taeha realized it really well, he knows she won't fall for big gestures, he could have get her great flat, car, anything, but she never wanted smn to come and save her, even tho it might be good for her to be saved
With Mincheol everything is spot on, ppl like him lack self discipline and they smtms explain treating smn the way he does as like 'well, she always take it, so they means she can handle it', he probably thinks she supposed to be eternally grateful and loyal to him and yeah, like all his fails and misfortunes are her fault
Really good writing in this story and great analysis
Thank you for coming to my ted talk as well
You say had the presented itself earlier he would have cheated then but he didn't cheat with the rich girl when he had a chance to. I think he had his morals intact at the time because his life was still going his wife. He traded them when everything started going haywire.
That’s what I’m saying though the minute things got hard in the real world he flipped the switch exactly like the teacher said. Like a volcano the worse their situation got the more he started to blame and resent Haesoo. Mincheol is a deadbeat through and through even though he has something good going with Ari he can’t relinquish Haesoo because he’s arrogant enough to think she’ll always be there for him to fall back on.
They were already broken long before Ari came into the picture and have been up to their knees in debt which had finally been paid off just enough to actually get a real job and chill (only Mincheol though cuz Haesoo was still working a million part time jobs even when he started).
I really think there just wasn’t an opportunity or he just couldn’t find someone who met his usual profile. Ari is naive and easily manipulated which is why he stays with her.
I think he did genuinely love her back then and it can be seen in little acts like not hitting Naesu's dad back because it will make her sad. He loved her with nativity and within his possibilities since from his backstory it doesn't seem like he had good examples of what real love was like. But he did love her which is really sad.
I do agree there was always something self serving in their relationship as well. He saw in Naesu not only someone to love but someone to give him purpose, someone to fight for, which in his definition is really a romantization of codependence, he wanted her to need him and only him so that she would never leave like others had done to him in the past. He wanted a connection to someone, one that could not be severed. It was not only her she loved it was what she made him feel: needed. And in his youth he was rash with how much he gave for this (of his own volition) and ended up resenting her for his own decisions.
He convinced her she couldn't live without him and that lie led him to feel contempt for her but the truth is HE was and always will be the one that needed her the most. All that contempt and all that hate he shows her were his from the start. He always hated himself so he needed her to love him.
I’m glad you like it! I’ll admit Haesoo’s feelings are little more hard for me to pick up on since I’m awful at subtext. But you’re probably right about her having low self worth and Mincheol definitely preyed on that but, I still think that it only worked so well because he saved her multiple times. They are both alone in the world and the fact that he kept coming back for her probably made her feel that Mincheol was her “miracle”. Which is why no matter how bad things got or how he treated her she could stay only leaving once she got true confirmation that he was gone first.
It’s true that you can love someone and hurt them at the same time so I can’t say I don’t agree. I suppose any love that existed was eventually clouded over as he grew to resent her. But at this point in the present timeline I think any attempt for him to care is solely to assuage his own feelings or just another thing for him to try and manipulate her with.
I hope that you're in a good place now
Yeah, I agree, I don't think he can make a comeback after everything he did
Now I know I might get some pushback but please reply because I really want to get some other opinions on this topic. First of all, I really think the author did a wonderful job showing how MINCHEOL NEVER GREW UP. We see Mincheol wants (to own) Haesoo, to the point of seeing his own friend as a threat to his relationship with her. And he’s happy when she shows “jealousy”—but what he fails to realize is that Haesoo is afraid of losing her only savior. She’s emotionally and physically dependent on him, so she’s scared that college will change him. Mincheol is arrogant in thinking that he can solve Haesoo’s problems because he loves her and is the only one who can forge a happy future for themselves. Yes, he’s naive and in puppy-love mode, but the deeper sentiment is that he thinks he can control everything about Haesoo and her circumstances. It is totally a pride thing. And EVEN NOW, he thinks that Haesoo WOULDN’T DARE to leave him. Mincheol started naive and prideful then, and he’s still naive and prideful in the present!
Money and circumstances were a problem yes but I don't think they were a driving force. It might be a good excuse but, I don't believe he EVER loved or cherish her. Sure he liked her but I think he just wanted to be a hero. He has admitted that she was pretty so he choose her, you could say he wanted to be the superman to her Lois Lane. Even now, in his own way he cares for her but, he will never put Haesoo before his own needs or feelings.
Notice what the teacher said? Arrogant men like him, when faced with the real world/problems they get crushed. That's exactly what happened, instead of taking accountability for his life. He sulks, and wallows in self pity, and blames everyone else for his misfortune. Even if he didn't use his tuition money to run away, he still would've, somehow found a way to blame Haaesoo, if his life wasn't going to the way he envisioned. The same with the cheating. Had an opportunity presented itself earlier, best believe he would have taken it too. It's not his circumstances, poverty, that "changed him. It's literally just him. Given the environment he was raised in it makes sense how he grew to crave control and I think no matter what life he ended up choosing it was always destined to end this way. With or without money. The saying goes "money doesn't change people, it exposes them , for who they truly were to begin with". Thank you for coming to my ted talk!