Tbh, and in my opinion, the only terrible thing Ian did is staying with TJ.
Maturity is realizing that ian is TJ's victim
Yessss
Clock it !
Ig you can say they're both bad but in terms of their relationship the only thing bad and selfish about Ian is letting TJ walking all over him.
Not to mention he gets so much more hate than TJ. On x and on tik tok. There are flock of his fans going "omg...he hurt TJ feeling" "he never try to understand TJ" "He is so selfish" "IAN THE ONLY ACTUAL RED FLAG" they overlook everything TJ do and blame it all on either Ian or Jo. The only character that matters and is allowed to be selfish, toxic and abusive is TJ.
maturity is realising that both Ian & TJ are terrible people and the only one getting wind up into this mess is Jo. they both got their reasons which in their mind is LITERALLY something they cannot lose in. its like oxygen for em or else they die. i hope ts has a good ending and fortunately, no one has to die