Period! Like why you got to say to come back with good news? Like bish I'm taking my time to sort out my feelings. Which means it could end badly as well. Trying to pressure, but oh well, he is getting the bad news for sure... ┑(￣Д ￣)┍
There’s a saying that you will encounter the thing you’re trying to avoid on the path you take to avoid it. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. The harder you push, the more they pull. That’s not to say you need to pull away first, it just means that in order to catch the fish, you need to throw the line and sit in the moment waiting for a fish to bite. You don’t start reeling before a fish has bit cause that will scare ALL of the fish.
Sorry but don’t do what Tom did. Confessing your feelings is fine and you can ask for a definitive answer or give a deadline if they ask for time. That’s all fine. Saying “okay. Take all the time you want but promise me… please come back with good news” is not okay. Don’t put pressure on other people for the sake of your own feelings. I’ve been on the receiving side and let me tell you that it pushes people away. I had a crush on the guy who confessed to me but he put so much pressure on me and emphasis on the fact that he wanted me to say yes that he totally overlooked my wants and needs. If it hadn’t been for how pushy and pressuring he was in that moment, I probably would have dated him and we’d probably be engaged to be married now (I always thought we’d get married if we ever dated since I’ve known him for almost a decade) so learn from his mistakes and don’t do that. Give them the space to make the decision on their own and respect it. No one owes you for your own feelings towards them.