
Spoiler
Tldr basically just know that mc and amon knew each other way back and amon purposefully drugs mc so he can forget the painful memories of his past which may or may not be caused by him lol. Obviously ts doesn’t work and mc continuously gets depressed especially bc of Amon’s lack of care for human life.. (and due to past trauma

sorry half my message got cut off lol But ignore this if u don’t wanna spoil
his loved ones got murdered even though he was promised they wouldn’t if he offered himself up instead and he was basically tortured rlly badly but was hoping amon would come save him (he never did) it’s rlly tragic and worded better in the novel sry

Nah, it's okay. When you like a character, you won't really acknowledge the other. I was like that before but I started to think back. [SPOILERS]
Like when Amon's child was killed, he didn't understand that he was grieving and no one told him how to process it. So he just did what he usually does and killed the guilty ones as his way of coping. Then he just hoped to forget about it but never did.
No one taught Amon because they were terrified of him. He did reflects what he sees without understanding what it means (example: he heard people saying how one another is "delicious", so now he says it thinking it's what shows affection). The only who could teach him is his mate, which...didn't work out.
It's well-written, but like...um yeah. Spoilers are greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to expect anymore and it's making my brain short-circuit