no because what was the point of all that yearning if Ian never came first to TJ the whole time and it was always organized crime first like huhhh. acting all in despair cause he was like 'Ian is choosing Jo over me hmph' meanwhile Ian could choose TJ, WAS CHOOSING TJ, and he STILL would put gangster's life first. why build a house??? what you thought Ian was gonna be like "sure! I'll run the gangster empire with you babe<3." I rlly thought TJ was at least mortified at the way he hurt Ian's leg and would move differently but no. what's the point of thinking "what have I done" when you'd literally do it again in a heartbeat?
THIS
I'd like to think that in the backstory when Ian forced himself on TJ, that's when something fucked up awaked in TJ and he just can't let it go. It's as if Ian repeated from his sin, but TJ still want to live in sin (Ian) because he's devoted his entire life to that sin (Ian). This is the best way I could think of on why TJ still acts like this
TJs mindset is like, if they went through all that together (the gangster life) and now that Ian wants to leave, it'd all be for nothing cause TJ did everything thinking about Ian and TJ js isn't ready to up and leave everything they endured tgtr, it's a trauma bond
Listen here, how come it's hard for tj to do it one day without gangster violence, that's all Ian wants in his life, he keeps telling Ian this is how their life is, 20 years of unnecessary involving in gangster. Meanwhile Jo does it in one day, tell me, is TJ still good in his life? For a man who done nothing for Ian for 29 years while Jo does it in one day? That's all he's asking, no need to be manipulative, no need to bring up the past.
To summarize, Ian doesn't want to get involved in gangster nonsense, he wants to leave it all behind meanwhile TJ who grew up and used to it, can't leave the gangster's life because this is his life, where he thinks he belongs