It’s crazy how I can endure murder majority in stories, but I cannot endure cheating in ...

i've seen others speak on this before, & I believe it's due to seeing cheating as your lover is being "stolen", which causes a possessive mindset as if they were a possession being taken away. This wording is often used in media & in real life, so it might clash with your own way of thinking (if you are the "jealous type"). it's in movies, shows, writing, etc & it only fuels the fire that is your own habitual way of thinking. ask yourself why it bothers you -- do you see the cheater as disgusting, no longer yours, etc?

That's a very compelling question. I haven't read the novels you're talking about, nor am I a psychology student or anything...but I think it has something to do with the fact there is a sort of finality, a dead end when it comes to killing/dying. Like that's the end of it. The person is dead. Whether the death will haunt the narrative or not is a different topic entirely though. Even if it does, the character mourning/suffering guilt is still ultimately able to move on because there is no tangible thing left to still be attached to. There is less fear and and anxiety like, you can't kill that person again. There is no room for change or doubt, only regret and hollowness. Loss, and grief is something nobody experiences the same way twice. It differs every time someone dies, and what relationship one might have with the one who has passed.
On the other hand, cheating is a conflict that arises between multiple individuals and remains unresolved in a sense that it has a longer lasting impact on all the characters involved I feel. There is no true closure, it is a betrayal of faith and trust. Not something one can 100% recover from I guess? Like it traumatizes you in a different way. There is, again, more suspicion of "what if history repeats itself". The trust issues stemming from infidelity feel more tangible cause they are present in real-time. The people involved, physical evidence and proof are still around. It's something one would avoid facing if they can help it. But there's never really any guaruntee. And a person/character usually tends to project those insecurities on other people, which indirectly affects the target of those accusations too.
Ok yeah imma stop yapping now

I'm the same as you, and I personally believe that the reason (at least in my case) is that I don't see murder in stories as "real", meaning that the concept of e.g. falling in love with a murderer or being a murderer myself feel so absurd and foreign that I can clearly distinguish that it's fiction. But cheating? That feels much more real to me. I've never been cheated on, but the idea of falling in love and for that loved one to cheat is something that my brain can accept as possible, so I identify myself more in the cheated on main character. Not to say that murder doesn't exist irl, OBVIOUSLY, but it just feels foreign because nothing like that has ever happened (and most likely, or better hopefully, will never happen. Does that make sense?
It's the same concept as me being more scared of home invasion horror movies than of paranormal ones because the first one is something I feel is much more likely to happen lmao

In cases of rape or SA hell no, I get more angry at the thought of the rapist being able to get away with it. This is why I get upset when coming across rape in Bl and it’s just overlooked (like in Written under the Stars or something I forgot the title). The couple gets to be happy afterwards which is fine but when it’s left unresolved…what about the guys who raped, what happened to them, we need to see it.

Now if it was intentional, I’d be upset. That’s why I wrote the, “ML was actually into it,” etc. cause the ML in sissy didn’t really think of MC, he was actually into the cheating and acted superior, arrogant, mc never found out.

I’d just give up on the relationship and leave if that were the case lmao. I don’t want to be a sponge of emotions.

Lmao it’s okay, I enjoyed the yap session. Thank you for the effort. This makes a lot of sense. There is a finality in death, and there is no betrayal in death for me from the person who died.

I don’t CONDONE death. I’d be sad still if the ones I loved were gone, but it’s a whole different feeling when the thought of cheating comes. What’s funny is that I have fantasies of cheating plots, but I’d never wanna participate in it or have my partner participate unless it’s a role play between us.

I do have trust issues and abandonment issues due to childhood problems with parents. This could be why. And Ive fed off a lot of cheating/ntr plots online. What I hate the most is those porn plots with ntr, the victim comes off as enjoying it. Once post nut clarity hits, I do get disgusted. I have my days where I don’t think and just read these types of stories, other days I am sensitive and dislike the thought of ever being in a situation like this. More of the latter.

This! The stories I read aren’t really explicit with murder or death either so I don’t feel a lot of fear etc. But with cheating? Seeing them find solace in others while their partner is worrying for them and thinking everything is fine? That is betrayal, that hurts to think of. Which is why I would never want to cheat on someone, just end the damn relationship and go.

I don’t know if I’d be able to be in a poly, but the thought does come once in a while. I don’t hate it, I just find monogamy more appealing. But if it’s just having one more partner or two that we both love genuinely and not just for sex, I can agree with that. I can’t handle more, I tend to be reserved and enjoy bonding for a long time before anything.

I read Form of Broken Love, it was just a mess. Especially when the cheater (who did also get SA’ed), affair guy, and partner had threesome out of just pure emotions due to the cheating. That was insane and I was thinking about it for days. I just had my brain think it’s porn and it eventually subsided.

I have never seen murder in real life so I understand, my brain is able to endure seeing such in fiction. But I have seen families being broken up. I was also raised in a family with little to no affection, leading to trust issues and abandonment issues. I have few trusted ish friends in my circle, no more.

thank you all for the replies! It did help answer some of the worries I had. Also, when the thought of a partner cheating on me comes, I always get these questions like: why cheat? Did I not fulfill something? Did you feel unloved? How could I make it better? etc.

And another thought, maybe because I watched too many crime cases. What if the cheating partner doesn’t want me to find out and decided killing me is easier than breaking it off? Shiit I would play nice to them and say, it’s okay, we can work it. That’s why I told my partner before we dated that if they ever cheat on me, just tell me and we can “make it work together” aka I would know and they won’t kill me right away, so I have enough time to run.