That is insane. And wasn’t even his first love, more like lustful attraction from being forced to watch all that as a kid. I viewed it more as him always holding this repressed sexual feelings towards the guy he has been attracted to since he was a freaking minor. Now that he is grown and has an opportunity, he wants to feel what it’s like with that person. But once he did it, that idealistic thoughts went away and it wasn’t the best as he had thought it would be, his internal dialogue about how much smaller the guy’s dick is compared to the male lead, the way he thinks about male lead, guilt, etc.

This story is BS. He didn't even seem that sorry after fucking cheating on him and then how tf do you just forgive him simply because he collapsed?