I don't get why people don't try to understand the old man feelings has much has the teen ...

Agreed. Also it's a conflict/obstacle. Something for the two of them to hopefully confront and deal with together. It's like every time there's a story where the couple has issues or someone makes a mistake ppl jump to "breakup! It's too unhealthy/toxic/problematic/etc!" And it's like hold your horses. It is but let's actually have them discuss this first hm? (￣∇￣")

That may be because yaoi mangas tend to feature very unhealthy and toxic relationships (even the fluffy ones). They feature the kind of problems that cannot be solved by True Love and Discussion. Change is very difficult and it takes a lot for those involved to even acknowledge that there is a problem, much less figure out how to change and then find the will to do so. Often this can't be done without some kind of counselling and supportive network (whether family/friends or some combination). Very, very often, these beneficial changes don't happen until after the break up, because the couple already settled into bad dynamics and the painful road to enlightenment placed the relationship under too much stress.

For example: anyone with the kind of controlling personality who finds it all too easy to make the decision to spy on their lover, with no detectable remorse, regret or hesitancy, and then extends that to isolating his lover from *his* supportive network on friends, will find it hard to change because of "discussions". *Esp* when there are no extenuating circumstances: Yoo Il is as sweet and earnest and loving as they come.

These are high hurdles in any circumstance. Add in the normal relationship stresses that come with typical human flaws and insecurities; the added complication of being a closeted gay couple in a conservative society; the age gap; and the older lover's obsession with the younger's dad....quite frankly these are explosive. It is *only* because this is BL that one could even reasonably consider that this story could have a happy ending in which this couple lasts.

*cough* Celine Dion *cough* I actually glad he feel that strong for the kid after that long one sided love.

and of course he will worry and follow him, it come with the package. I think the teen enjoy it actually that the old guy pay attantion to him. like he said to his friend that said his girlfriend is "controlfreak" - read this scene again and tell me it is toxic to him.

counselling or supportive network won't happen cause the older guy don't have anyone apart from the childhood friend. so yap, he will have to lean on the teen for this.

actually I read yaoi love much more twisted with happy ending then they are, and much much much more toxic then they are so....yeas. I think they actually very very healthy compare to other yaoi out there.

believe me, I read a lot of them ╮(￣▽￣)╭ those two are so much healthy then so many yaoi couples in the same age.

I agree so much! same (⌒▽⌒)

Celine Dion is not a gay man in South Korea...? No need to cough.

I don't believe anyone suggested that Yoo Il think's the relationship has taken a turn for the worst, so far. He doesn't have the information that readers do--the spy app on the phone, the obsession with his father, and so on. Even if he had all that information and thought it was all a good thing, we as readers would still be very right in viewing it as an unhealthy relationship.

Stating there are much more problematic yaoi stories out there--which is very true--does not make this one healthy. Having diabetes may be better than having terminal cancer but the person with diabetes is still sick.

Celine married a guy that can be her father, or more like her grandfather and she seem very happy with her life, even if she not a guy. so yeas....reality man (￣∇￣")

did you seen the worse of obsession in yaoi? I don't think so.
I won't say that is good, but I think slowly, the old guy did recover from his one side love he had for FUCKING YEARS! yeas, cause it take TIME!! time is a thing....
so do you really surpise he had obsession finally when he fall in love with someone that actually give him back love? really?? I don't ╮(￣▽￣)╭

and like I said, in any Straight or gay relationship, you see a little bit of obsession. you can deny it all you want though. why? cause you can't love someone without feel a little bit jealos to him. jealosy is a mini obsession too. so you say it is unhealthy too? but it part from been with someone. yeas you get jealos over him. while in other fuck up yaoi you will see it has a cute thing.

I agree he go a little far, but again, he didn't felt such a strong emotions for like...forever XD so I"m not surpise it become a little too much for him. I think when he get usued to been loved, he will calm down with it. maybe ╮(￣▽￣)╭

I don't see it has unhealthy like other yaoi that show rape has "enjoy" it while saying no. this is actually much more haelthy in many forms from the usual rape like yaoi. and it much more realisitic too.

whatever happen to them, I think they will help each other in the end. at least that what I think. the teen already make him finally admit his real feelings and not live in denial he kept for years! that already very good. denial is horrible.

I always want the characters to just move to a foreign country so they can be open about it ╥﹏╥

same. but what will they say to the teen father? XD he won't let him leave just like that XD

You're confused. No one is pointing to the age gap as the the "toxic" or bad part of the relationship. Se Woong's issues and actions are the problem. The age gap doesn't help but it's the least of it.

Of course it was easier for Celine Dion to be happy--she was a rich straight white woman who married a rich, straight, white man, in a country that celebrates straight relationships. Reality.

Again, simply because an action isn't rape doesn't means it's automatically good. There are many different types of abuse: emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, financial. They are different but there are all *abuse*. None of them is a "healthy" kind of abuse. Se Woong is edging very close to some of those lines and needs to step back before it's too late.

I have been clear about what I found wrong with Se Woong's actions: the spying, manipulation, and efforts to isolate Yoo Il from his friends. Not "obsession" or "jealousy". Since you're determined to romanticise it all, I'll end it here.

I engaged because I know there are readers out there who need to understand that when you feel hurt in these situations, it's okay to seek help. When you are the Yoo Il whose partner thinks it's their right to search your phone; when you are the Yoo Il who is made to feel guilty every time you want to do something with your friends; when you are the Yoo Il who is questioned every time you leave the house---trust your gut. You know this is not how it is supposed to be. Do not believe those who tell you this is proof of your partner's love. Like Se Woong, your partner is thinking only of themselves. Maybe they do love you, but all their problems are getting in the way of them seeing *you* and prioritising *your* well being and happiness. Get help. Talk with them if you must. If they don't see any problems, if they won't try to change, be strong enough to walk away because you matter. You deserve someone who listens to you and does their best to *overcome* their fears in order to make the both of you happy.

And if you've been too hurt to go on that journey of change with them that's perfectly okay too.

ok I"m not "romanticise" it, that the first thing I will make clear since it seem people don't get what I"m saying. and just so you know, I don't even like romance lol I like angst. and I never defend this thing or encouraged it. if that what you think I said, then you wrong and you don't get what I comment.

I just giving an example, I don't care what race she is lol and most readers do care about their age gap, that's why they find it not romantic and gross while if they were in the same age they will find it romantic and cute. stupid I know XD that is most of the reason they blame almost everything on the old guy, at least that what I seen people talking, while the teen stulk him for some time before they even start to go out. he's not Innocent.

I just think if you going to blame someone, then at least be fair and blame the teen too for stulking him and follow him everywhere. oh right, cause if you in love and "young" it's okay to do anything right? maybe you think it romantic, but stulking is a crime too.

I never said it was okay that he check his phone and did that thing with his friends, it is a crime too. but at least try to understand why he did it instead of just asking him to spand time with him and not his friends. it's not from malice act. like I said:

"I agree he go a little far, but again, he didn't felt such a strong emotions for like...forever"
but....you making it sound like he did it ALL the time what is not true! at first he always run away from him and always making him leave.

this is the first time we seen him DOING this kind of stuff! FIRST TIME!!!!! and you already decided he did it "all the time" ? really? read this again and show me the other times he did it while the teen read his letter and touch his stuff without asking.

I don't think you get it, the teen is the one who follow him and wanted this Relationship from the start. and the teen don't see it, has he said before to his friend, has a bad thing that the old guy "control" him in a way and always stick to him. should I send you a link of the panel of their talk?

again, the old guy don't have anyone else to lean on apart from his childhood friend that he know he have deep feelings for years and try to deny them. what lead him to self distrect cause living in denial of your feelings is very bad! we can talk about how he should go to psychologist to talk about those denial feelings, but he will NEVER do it! he never did it before, why should he do it now if he don't see the problam in deny his own feelings!!?

but this is where he do change, he finally try to show his real feelings then deny and bury them deep inside, a very shitty and fuck up way but it is a start. and like he said, it's like burst out of him too much now.

Although his way was wrong, I don't think he did it to control him only. he did it cause he usued to bury his feelings, that what he did for years. but now he finally start to show his feelings and that very HARD if you live in self denial for so long.

and this is why you should not bury or deny your feelings!! if you feel hurtt, cry it out. if you love someone, even if the guy don't love you back, SAY IT!!

if he want to spand time with him, he should SAY IT and not act behind his back!! but that his problam, he can't do it!! it's not easy for him to show his feelings.

it the end of the day, the one who he hurt the most is not the teen. it mostly himself!! and that what sad in all of it. but well, this is a very human thing I guess.

Nah it shows that he's controlling and untrustworthy.
He had no reasons to think he's cheating on him and he still violated his privacy and didn't even feel bad about it.

There's a big and fair difference between feeling insecure and scared, and not trusting your partner, going through their phone when they're not there and tracking their phone ... do you not see how unhealthy that is for both of them.

Right? That's the biggest red flag to me. He seemed to revel in the control and power it gave him over Yoo-Il.

I didn't expect matters to reach this level so soon tho. I'm relieved although braced for a pie in the sky, happily ever after ending.

I didn't say he isn't, a guy that was Obsessive with his friend from high school for like fucking 10 years! maybe even more, who cares XD.
BUT....the teen isn't better, he's a stalker that freak me out has well.
so.....yeas I"m kind of ok with them stay together and be happy XD they would get each other in so many ways.

The teen isn't a teen first of all but he IS much younger. And since they've started dating he's done nothing wrong.

right cause stalking isn't a crime, it's okay to stalk someone and touch his stuff without his Consent and following around in the street.
you mast think it very cute right? but in real life it creepy.