I can see so much of myself in Hyung...

... or, I should say, the person I was before I met my own Euon(sp). It's like looking into a mirror to the past. I was selfish, I cheated, I stepped on the feelings of others and it never bothered me because I had convinced myself that they didn't actually care about me from the start anyway. Then, I met my the man who is now my husband. He was so good and pure and sincere. And I treated him just as cruelly as I had all the others before him. The difference was, he never gave up on me, he never let go of my hand no matter how hard I tried to shake him off and he always saw the best in me. I didn't love myself, so how could anyone love me? Especially this kind, warm, loving man? One day, I realized just how badly I wanted to deserve his love. I don't remember now what the trigger was, probably something small and silly, but I wanted desperately to be worthy of this person's love. I knew that the "me" as I was wasn't worthy and I needed to change something, I just didn't know what or how. So, I told him what I was thinking and feeling. He replied with, "You've already started." Just accepting love from someone, believing in it, wanting it and wanting to return it was enough to naturally make me act less selfishly, to not want to shake his hand off, to allow him to love me and to open my heart to the truth of his feelings. Occasionally I would slip back into old habits, but never for long. I always noticed right away, apologized and tried hard to not do it again. That was 22 years ago. Now, there's not a thought that goes through my mind that doesn't have my husband in it in one way or another. I don't know what he saw in me when we met, but what you can see in me now is a little bit... no, a lot of him. Some of the worst personalities can be tempered with love from the right person. I'm confident that Hyung will realize this just as I did. If he can love himself through Eoun's eyes, all his doubts will be blown away.