Upopular opinion?

Weeell, being gay in this world is not easy and in Japan it's probably harder than it is in your country. You can't just say "Yeah, I like you. Let's do this!"
Their logic is: I love you but that would cause you problems all over and make you suffer. So, since I love you so much and I want you to be ok, I'll let you go and live a "normal" life.
It might be hard to understand but there are (selfless) people who think like that.

I understand where their thought process comes from, however it is still completely illogical to me. They are essentially thinking that society's general view of them holds more value than their feelings - and that is a horrible way to think.
I am a gay man myself. I've been through the majority of the mental torture that comes with it due to society's backwards nature. But as painful as it all was, it would be 1000 times more painful to let society tell me I can't be with the one I love. Absolutely not.
And these men in Yaoi also fail to realize that living your life as a lie and forcing yourself to hide who you are and who you love is more painful and more mentally abusive than any hatred you might receive by being open and honest with yourself.
Their "selfless" mindset is actually psychological abuse. Period.

I'm sorry for the rant. I am not directing it at you in any way. It's just bringing back memories of shit that I had to go through after I came out 10 years ago in middle school, and it makes me furious. Maybe it's because most Yaoi is written by female writers for a female audience, but most just don't seem to fully comprehend what gay people are actually like or what they actually go through. Also notice how they make most men in Yaoi manga bisexual, so they always have an alternate "option". Gay people don't have that "option". Either they live their life as a lie and go through that intense psychological abuse which leads many to suicide, or they allow themselves to be happy and be who they are while risking potential backlash.

"They are essentially thinking that society's general view of them holds more value than their feelings - and that is a horrible way to think." It really is, but that seems to be the way most Japanese people think. It is very important to them to fit into society and be "normal" =/

And I meant it's their way of being selfless, what they think a good person should do. Again, it might be hard to understand but, if I'm being honest with you, I get it and might even think the same if I were in that kind of situation... Yes, it's not good for the "slefless" person but if the other person is ok sometimes that's enough x| Yeah, I probably need help too... xO hahaha.

And yep, you're right, it's made by women and for women so it's not very realistic... It would be good to have some male mangaka writing yaoi u.u It would be interesting.

I'm sorry that you had to go through awful stuff and being so young ;_; I hope you're happy and doing fine now :)

P.S. You have good taste in yaoi ;D I like almost all the mangas in your Favorites list hahaha =P

Haha thank you! ^^ I've been reading Yaoi since before I came out (over 10 years holy shit), so I have become insanely picky and difficult to impress xD

And yes, I am happy and flourishing. Thank you <3
As difficult as things were are first, I never let any of it hold me back from anything. I'm quite the rebellious type in the sense that I always stay true to myself, do what I love and follow my own intuition above anything else - society be damned!
Since I was little, I always cherished any aspect of myself that made me unique, even if I caused me to get bullied. So when I finally understood and was able to put a name to my sexuality (that I had been aware of since as far back as 2002 at least. I was in 2nd grade), I got so excited I had to tell everyone LOL

Things got pretty horrible when it came to my family at first (most of which I don't want to go into. Just a ton of psychological abuse). I was told some pretty nasty things by my father, and both my parents essentially told me to never tell anyone else and hide it for the sake of my "safety".
But of course being me, I didn't listen to a word they said. I casually and organically made it so that anyone who knew me was aware that I was gay. I'm not very effeminate (I'm actually very perfectly balanced between masculine and feminine), so I could easily hide it and it was hard for people to tell anyway. But I chose not to. I was perfectly content being open about it to my friends, teachers, people I just met, people who knew me through people, anyone. I was so comfortable in my own skin and confident in myself that I became widely known and respected in high school because of it. Even when I ran into homophobic people, they quickly changed their mindset once they got to know me, and a few of them even ended up coming out as gay or bi themselves ;)

I know I didn't go into detail about any of the negative things I went through (and there were A LOT), and I know that I was still very fortunate compared to many other gay people around the world. But I worked with what I had, and unintentionally taught many people some valuable lessons. I was so happy and confident being true to myself, that I was able to fight through anything that was thrown at me - no matter how much damage I took from it. That was my shield and my strength. Coming out at such a young age and experiencing the things I went through while I was still very young, I sure as hell needed it!
But I regret nothing. I'm thankful for everything I experienced - including the difficult things. "Fuel for ma' tank" as one of my friends would say xD

One of the most valuable psychological tricks I've learned over the years, is that you can influence a person's reaction to something based on how you go about mentioning it. For example: If you're obviously nervous and create a lot of suspense before making a bold statement, the other person's reaction might meet or exceed that level of seriousness. However if you show that you're confident, happy and unfazed while making a statement or casually slip it in there without making a big deal, the other person might be surprised at first, but their overall reaction tends to be closer to how you handled it.
Basically if YOU make it a big deal, the other person might also make it a big deal. But if you have the reins held tightly from the start and show that it's not a big deal, the other person will unknowingly be drawn into the reins.
Doesn't always work, but it is a pattern I've noticed. The energies we exude always have an influence on the energy we receive - even if it's slight.


ANYWAY, I did not intend to write an essay AT ALL. I'm so sorry >< haha
But that's some of my story in brief...as brief as I could be lol

I've been reading yaoi for about 10 years too, but as long as the story gives me "the feels" and has no abuse in it, I'm happy hahaha xD Oh, I don't like incest either u.u That's it ╮(￣▽￣)╭ hahaha.

Yaaay! Happy to know you're happy~ :3 You're really brave! xO I'm a coward x_x hahaha. Lucky for me I'm not gay or I'd be living inside a closet... x_x hahaha.

And and and "So when I finally understood and was able to put a name to my sexuality (that I had been aware of since as far back as 2002 at least. I was in 2nd grade), I got so excited I had to tell everyone LOL" awwwww, this makes me want to hug the young and brave you!! ;3; hahaha. I'd be very proud of you if I were your mom!! >-<

Thanks for the advice, I do tend to get nervous... not as much as I used to but still happens... "The energies we exude always have an influence on the energy we receive", yep, yep, I think you're right.

And no need to apologize at all!! It's been nice reading your replies :3 And I'd be happy to continue talking to you :D

Of course! Me too. It's been a while since I've had such a deep and meaningful conversation online haha <3
And I certainly could've used that hug back then. My younger self could not comprehend the fact that people wouldn't accept me the way I easily accepted myself. It made no sense to me....and that's because it really doesn't make any sense! xD
I hope that one day all people will come to understand that, and accept and cherish each other's differences.

Finding and accessing your inner strength takes time. Confidence and strength comes with knowing who you really are and loving and trusting that person. You just have to allow yourself the time and space to explore and discover what's within you. You also have to follow your passions and allow yourself to constantly step out of your comfort zone - because being uncomfortable allows us to grow. There is always discomfort before growth.

So if something makes you nervous, yet it's something you still feel you need or want to do - go for it! Even if you take a few hits, you'll come out stronger because of it =)

And yes, I am very similar when it comes to Yaoi. I can't do tragedy or abuse. I also can't do useless and unnecessary drama. I like to feel satisfied and happy when I read (even if I'm crying from happiness). So I'll take all the fluff and sex and deep, beautiful love I can get! haha
Then there are stories like "Koori No Mamono No Monogatari" that made such a profound impact on me than I sat there in silence for 10+ minutes after finishing, not knowing what to feel or do LOL

Lmao (almost) same, except that I hated everything about it. The theme mainly revolves about forgetting bc they liked each other, and that pisses me off sighh