Light is such a fascinating and tragic character. I'm not excusing him of anything and it's true that had he gotten his way, the world would have become a police state but Light bound himself to a terrible fate. His hands stained with blood, he turned his back to light and strayed from the right path, prepared to do anything not to be seen as a criminal. Paradoxically, he traded light for darkness in the hopes of escaping darkness. (“He knew what I was doing was evil… but I had no choice”).
His Self gradually disappeared behind the mask of Kira, who was supposed to be a protection. He manipulated himself, hurt himself by erasing his own memories. Imagine the moment when he regained them. In retrospect, he realized to what extent he could fool himself and use himself as a tool. This scream in the helicopter is a scream of pain, loud with the agony of a man who understands he has been cheated by himself.
Light regains his composure quickly because he must go on. Light is like water, he takes the form of its recipe, Kira. There is no going back : he must escape society’s judgement and become the new Justice. His feelings and sanity are secondary. What matters is his facade. During the false shooting scene, he doesn’t tell his father not to kill him. He tells him not to kill him because he’s not Kira. Light implicitly adheres to the idea dishonor is a fault punished by death.
And yet, alone in his room, after having killed with the notebook, he couldn’t gather the courage to ask for punishment. (You can see him start to rationalize what he's done in ch. 1 pg. 42.)
Light doesn’t believe in redemption: he kills people and accepts, theoretically, death as a fitting punishment for himself, were he Kira. There is no room for forgiveness and redemption in Light’s world. Even for himself.
That’s why, when he became a killer, he didn’t surrender. He knew what he had done what “evil”, “unforgivable”. And Light fears death. So, he tried to influence the only parameter he could change : how people perceive his actions. And Light is skilled at putting on a facade. It’s the easy way out.
If Light’s actions are Justice then Light isn’t flawed. People created Kira, the God-man who kills in the name of Justice and so Light played the part.
After all, he is used to deceive people and lying. It should be easy, shouldn’t it?Too bad Light didn’t realize the first person he betrayed in the process was himself.
When Ryuk tells him he wasn’t fated in the first scene, Light remains silent. The reader eventually understands that Light refuses to accept reality when, during the Warehouse scene, he howls that his actions might have been evil but…. he isn’t the one the blame. He followed the destiny he was burdened with. Light’s last lie is a lie to himself.
Light is Kira’s first victim doesn’t mean Light was abused by a nasty split personality. Light fell victim to his own weakness. Met with a terrible fate, his road crossing Ryuk’s, he was too weak not to kill, too weak to assume responsibility. Too weak not to endorse Kira’s mask.
Light is such a fascinating and tragic character. I'm not excusing him of anything and it's true that had he gotten his way, the world would have become a police state but Light bound himself to a terrible fate. His hands stained with blood, he turned his back to light and strayed from the right path, prepared to do anything not to be seen as a criminal. Paradoxically, he traded light for darkness in the hopes of escaping darkness. (“He knew what I was doing was evil… but I had no choice”).
His Self gradually disappeared behind the mask of Kira, who was supposed to be a protection. He manipulated himself, hurt himself by erasing his own memories. Imagine the moment when he regained them. In retrospect, he realized to what extent he could fool himself and use himself as a tool. This scream in the helicopter is a scream of pain, loud with the agony of a man who understands he has been cheated by himself.
Light regains his composure quickly because he must go on. Light is like water, he takes the form of its recipe, Kira. There is no going back : he must escape society’s judgement and become the new Justice. His feelings and sanity are secondary. What matters is his facade. During the false shooting scene, he doesn’t tell his father not to kill him. He tells him not to kill him because he’s not Kira. Light implicitly adheres to the idea dishonor is a fault punished by death.
And yet, alone in his room, after having killed with the notebook, he couldn’t gather the courage to ask for punishment. (You can see him start to rationalize what he's done in ch. 1 pg. 42.)
Light doesn’t believe in redemption: he kills people and accepts, theoretically, death as a fitting punishment for himself, were he Kira. There is no room for forgiveness and redemption in Light’s world. Even for himself.
That’s why, when he became a killer, he didn’t surrender. He knew what he had done what “evil”, “unforgivable”. And Light fears death. So, he tried to influence the only parameter he could change : how people perceive his actions. And Light is skilled at putting on a facade. It’s the easy way out.
If Light’s actions are Justice then Light isn’t flawed. People created Kira, the God-man who kills in the name of Justice and so Light played the part.
After all, he is used to deceive people and lying. It should be easy, shouldn’t it?Too bad Light didn’t realize the first person he betrayed in the process was himself.
When Ryuk tells him he wasn’t fated in the first scene, Light remains silent. The reader eventually understands that Light refuses to accept reality when, during the Warehouse scene, he howls that his actions might have been evil but…. he isn’t the one the blame. He followed the destiny he was burdened with. Light’s last lie is a lie to himself.
Light is Kira’s first victim doesn’t mean Light was abused by a nasty split personality. Light fell victim to his own weakness. Met with a terrible fate, his road crossing Ryuk’s, he was too weak not to kill, too weak to assume responsibility. Too weak not to endorse Kira’s mask.