I like what your wrote.
Most of the times i considered being called 'masochist' was an affront, however, reading you, i gladly find some kind of praise of being one of them. And it's true.
I'm glad I could uplift a fellow masochist. I've been involved in BDSM for 30 years and I've been a masochist and a submissive the whole time. I don't need power if I have control. We only LOOK pathetic to those who don't understand how powerful and in control we actually are. Never be ashamed of finding pleasure as a masochist. There are people out there who understand and admire your bravery, tenacity, self control and awareness. When you find a loving sadist, if you haven't already, I wish you both much happiness. There is nothing like having a lover who understands you and wants nothing more than to please you and be pleasured by you. Best wishes and best of luck to you. Keep your chin up!
Oh, you exhilarate me with your words again. I'm not involved in BDSM ..yet. This is the way i've been since a long time ago, but, since we are seen as pathetic i began to play rude and rebel. So, i won't look 'weak' before others. I have a funny combination of myself now.
Yeah, being aware of everything and knowing how to deal with it. Requires more effort itself. Like making the plans of a structure, a building. So our partner will execute it.
As a result, when having a partner who complements us very well, that bond becomes even more special.
Thank you for your best wishes. I haven't find someone like that yet. I hope the situation changes sooner than the later. Thank you again.
Ah, like me, you would be considered a "brat" in our circles. This is a masochist who is dilberately rebellious in order to bring out the best in their sadist. Of course, not many sadist's enjoy a partner who is constantly submissive. Without punishment, there can be no reward. LOL
Everyone has a little sadist in them. When you find "the one", even if they are not into BDSM, if you start off slow and gentle, It's easy to pull someone into the "dark side". LOL I was initiated and trained at 17 by a wonderful guy. He was so patient and gentle, there was just no way I could not enjoy every minute of everything he did with me. We started out gently with tying my hands with beautiful silk scarves he bought just for me. He then started to blindfold me with them as well. That is an intense experience! I loved It! Little games like that can be enough to start or enough to just spice up your love life. As time went on, we evolved together into more intense and rougher games. Even after we broke up, we remained good friends and partners on occasion. We never cheated on our partners, we would only play if we both were single. We broke up because I was young, stupid and indecisive. If I had been smarter, I'd have married him. He really was perfect. Ah, but that was almost 30 years ago! LOL Too late now. I am grateful to him though. He brought out the best in me.
Your "building" analogy is perfect. That is precisely what we do and we must trust our partner to execute that plan perfectly. Trust is huge in BDSM. You are entrusting your life and safety to another's hands. Anyone can have "vanilla" sex, but it takes a much deeper level of trust to play BDSM games, both physically and emotionally. You have to be extremely confident in yourself and your partner to enjoy humiliation games, exhibitionism, neglect play and rape play. You have to KNOW for certain that your partner will never hurt you and you have to KNOW for certain that you can take everything your partner dishes out. That is not something you find in most average relationships. The rate of divorce among married BDSM couples is nearly zero. It is a trust and confidence you can't find anywhere else.
I sincerely hope that you can find your perfect sadist. They are out there, even if you have to train them to be perfect. LOL Good luck to you and if you ever need or want to chat, feel free to mail me here. I'd love to talk with you.
Oh, geez. Being called "brat" ...what a loving word!! Enticing a sadist with a rebellious behavior is amusing and gives this grin on your face of evil complacence willing for a proper punishment as a reward.
What i read before, is that every sadist has a masochist side, as well for masochist to have a sadist inner self. Being all cute and nice to drag someone to the 'dark side', i love it since immemorial times. Nice, so nice..
You were young when you began, your initial games seem lovely and perfect for me. It's natural for you to behave foolish and hesitant at a young age, if he was with you back then, he was also aware of this. Do you still miss him?
Hehe, thanks for praising my analogy, i like to come with examples like that, since i lack of knowing how to convey my thoughts.
Exactly, what i see in BDSM, and appreciate the most, is the meaning of trust. It's like putting your live in someone else's hands and that one to embrace it with so much care. This cannot be compared to vanilla sex. Or, even to the regular relationships some couples have out there.
Wow, you just mentioned the kinks i have, from humiliation till rape play, hahaha. Back at the time i didn't have even the slightless idea of these, i was into them but with some fear.
THAAAAANK you!! for telling me i'm able to mail you, i'm so happy!! I'l do!!
Reply me there!!
I am extremely happy to meet a fellow masochist with similar interests. My former boyfriend and I are still in contact, but we are only friends now. We are both happily married to other people and we take joy in knowing the other is happy and content. I will admit that I do miss him though. Especially when I reminisce about our past adventures together. LOL
I look forward to talking to you more in mail. I'll see you there!
wooow I've never thought about it that way! I´ve read so many stories about masochists but I never thought further. That is so true! It takes some real balls, confidence and power to be honest about what you want. thanks for the insight
Everyone assumes that the sadist runs the show in S&M, when in fact, the opposite is true. The masochist LIKES the pain, humiliation and torture. So, they are the one receiving pleasure when the sadist lashes out. When a masochist willingly gives up "power" to the sadist, they gain control over the dynamic. You can't control what others think, say or do, but you can control how you react and let it affect you. A masochist has mastered controlling their responses to pain and humiliation by finding pleasure in it. The more a sadist lashes out, the more pleasure the masochist receives. The more the masochist defies or infuriates the sadist, the more the sadist lashes out. Thus, the masochist is the one calling the shots. Being called a masochist should never be an insult. It takes a high level of self awareness, self control, self sacrifice and observational skills to be a masochist who gets what they want.