Wow,
masturbation queen
I bow to you (〜￣▽￣)〜
LMAO
I am happy you both enjoyed my rather twisted sense of humour. If you got even a giggle out of my embarrassing exposé, I have done the job I set out to do. Thank you both for taking the time to leave a comment and when you're feeling down, just visit your local grocery store's produce section and think of me. LMAO Many wishes for more laughter and joy in your lives.
I'm reminded once again why I started to follow you: You're fucking awesome
LMAO Thanks! I have my moments.
Lmfao amazing!!!
LMAO
LOL Thanks! Having no sense of shame or embarrassment has its perks sometimes. LMAO
I've seen one trying to shove an apple in his ass but didn't succeed lol he also shove 3 eggs in it and I've never been so terrified in my life
I will never not unsee that mental image you gave me there thank you
I suppose they would work, but I have had a preference for cucumbers since the time my husband expertly carved one to resemble a very attractive penis. Carrots, when fresh, are not very flexible and feel a bit too much like plastic, but cucumbers have a little "give" in the flesh and feel as close to the "real thing" as a veggie can get. This applies to yellow squash (if you like them with a curve) and zucchini (if you like them shaved with a little stubble) as well. Bananas are too soft and tend to mush, leaving behind a rather sticky mess. I don't recommend them. Leeks and green onions expand and peel when they absorb lots of moisture and can leave parts behind if you're not careful. Celery is "ribbed for your pleasure", but tends to be rather narrow. Two stalks nested together might work though. Asparagus is also rather narrow and has spiky little leaves on the stalk, be careful. Whatever you do, stay clear of artichokes! Their leaves have sharp little spikes on them that hurt like hell!
Now that I have ruined half the produce section of your local grocery store... remember a healthy diet has 5 servings of fruits and veggies! LMAO (This was all just a joke. I've only ever actually used the cucumber. Don't judge me, he worked hard on it! LOL) ╮(￣▽￣)╭